Tuesday, 11 July 2023

Gig Review - Blur, Paul Weller & The Selecter live at Wembley Stadium - Sun 9th July 2023

 For reasons I can't quite fathom, until Sunday, Blur were one of the few bands that I really like that I never got around to seeing. I nearly saw them at the Town and Country club in Kentish town in 1994(?), but I was managing a band called The Sway and they had a gig at the Bull and Gate, so I gave the ticket away. During the battle of Britpop, I thought they were far superior and more original than Oasis. Since then they have shown that they are perhaps the best band the UK has ever produced. I believe Damon Albarn to be a genius, as born out by his other work with acts such as the Gorillaz. I thought I'd missed the boat completely, until they booked a gig at Wembley. This gave me a real dilemma, as I hate Stadium gigs. A mate persuaded us to join him and his wife. We bought expensive tickets in what football fans call "The prawn sandwich ring". The support was Paul Weller and The Selecter. I have seen both of these many times. I simply love the Selecter, always a great night out. I am very ambivolent about Weller. He has written some fine songs, but I've never enjoyed his live shows. My wife loves him and has on many occasions said that she'd happily leave me for him. I am not sure whether this fuels my ambivolence or not. Amuzingly, my mate who persuaded me, realised a week before that he'd double booked and had arranged to go to the Grand Prix. So his wife took a mate, and I was part of the Girls night out!

So after a pleasant Sunday lunch at the Alice House in West Hampstead, we made our way up to the stadium. We went ridiculously early as we wanted to see all of the bands. Quite incongruously, the DJ was former snooker ACE, AKA Mr Boring AKA Steve Davis. He was getting most excited. His genre of music is not really to my taste, but fair play to him for re-inventing himself. I've DJ'd a few gigs over the years. As no one is there to see you, it can be hard work getting people going, especially at 5.40pm on a Sunday afternoon. I did enjoy seeing him. And onto the bands.

The Selecter. As I mentioned, they are a band I've seen many times going back to the late 1970's. As ever, Pauline Black was wonderful. She's rehearsed at the studios and so I've met her and chatted on a few occasions. I loved the music, but as the stadium was filling up, from our lofty perch, there was little atmosphere, but it was fun. It sort of confirmed my view of stadium gigs.

Paul Weller was next up. I've been dragged along to more Weller gigs than I care to mention. I have to be honest and say that he irritates me intensely. He is undoubtedly a great songwriter, has a stack of good songs and is a passionate performer. We saw the best of this when he did songs such as 'That's Entertainment', 'Shout' and 'Stanley Park'. The trouble is that he simply refuses to play most of them, preferring later stuff, which simply isn't as good. I'm someone who is receptive to a good tune, if I haven't heard it before, if it cuts the mustard, but Weller fills his set with album fillers of mediocre standard. When he plays a banging tune such as "That's Entertainment", all it does is show the gulf between his average and his good work.He reinforced to me something Hank Marvin once said to me, when his son Paul was in the band. He said that if you want work, send the audience home happy and keep it simple. Weller said few words, saying "We haven't got much time, so we're just going to play music". There was some good stuff, but not enough to leave me anything but frustrated. Clare thought he was brilliant and sang wonderfully. In some ways, that's his problem. If he played the set he should play, it would be Weller, not Blur selling out Wembley. It is, for me, the same every time I see him. He has done great stuff in all his incarnation, but just doesn't play enough of it for anyone but the faithful.

Blur came on, to a raptuous reception. I have to say that up until this moment, I'd been regretting my decision to come to Wembley. I simple felt too detached from the audience. The last artist I'd seen at Wembley Stadium was Bowie, on the Glass Spider tour. It was a real disappointment. I actually thought Bowie was better with Tin Machine at Wembley. We were too detached, the whole thing was monumenatally overblown and the songs were all over egged. I preferred the more stripped back versions on the records and felt Bowie ruined all of them. I was half expecting Blur to do the same. 

From a technical perspective, I was surprised to see that the band were playing with wedge monitors, rather than in ear monitors. I found this interesting. It is far harder to get a decent onstage sound, but you feel the music properly with wedge monitors. The set was not overladened with props, something I prefer. Not too fussy. One of my big bugbears with the previous gigs I'd seen was the need of artists such as the Rolling Stones and Bowie was their need to fill the stage up. Being a fan of the Ramones and minimalism, and empty stage always appeals.

Blur made their way on and launched into "St Charles Square", followed by "There's no other way". My misgivings started to evaoporate. I'd not really known what to expect from Damon Albarn. I soon formed the opinion that he is an amazing front man, for a proper rock and roll band. Not intricate dance routines, but very engaged with the audience.

A highlight was the melancholic "Under the Westway". At the end of the number Albarn collapsed in tears, clearly the emotion had got to him. For some performers, it may have seemed contrived, but for Albarn, it seemed the real deal. It was a moment when I 80,000 felt a connection. It's been a tough few years, but we've come through.

 About half way through the set, a small BT maintenance tent was wheeled on. Albarn announced that there was someone in it. He went for a look. He popped out again and they did their hit "House in the country". Clearly something was up. When it finished, Phil Daniels emerged for a rousing version of "Parklife". At this point, the beer took its toll. I nipped to the loo. As I was doing what needed to be done, a lad in the loo exclaimed "That was the best moment ever at one of these things". I had to concur. 

Another highlight, near the end of the set, was "Song No 2". Ths song was originally written as a joke, the band suggesting it as a single to wind up the record company. To their surprise (and delight no doubt) not only did the record company love it, but it went to number 2 in the charts. Like Weller's "That's entertainment", it's simplicity is the key. A lesson for all budding pop/rock stars. 80,000 people were bouncing and joining in the "Woo Hoo's". 

The band did a five number encore, the highlight of which, for me, was "Tender". They brought on the London Community Gospel Choir. Having stated that I didn't like overblown stage's, I was forced to eat my words. I love the song. It is the other extreme from "Song No 2". A delicate piece, beautifully constructed, amazing melodies and great hooks. Two more songs followed, but it was Tender that the audience sang as they departed.

I had gone tothe gig without high hopes, but wanting to tick Blur off the list of bands I've seen. I left thinking that they are perhaps the best English Pop/Rock band I've seen and wishing I'd had tickets for the front. If you get a chance, watch a video, Albarns performance is a lesson in how to be a great frontman, whithout resorting to the usual cliche's. In some ways the gig confirmed all of my prejudices about live music, stadiums, rock and roll music and songwriting. But despite all of the things I dislike about stadium gigs presenting themselves, Blur rose above it and sent me home happy. 

Here's the whole set list


Monday, 10 July 2023

Some exciting news from The False Dots

Just in case you are not aware of this, I am the lead singer and guitarist in The False Dots. The band has been around in various guises since 1979. Of late we've been rather productive. In May, we went to Seirra Vista studios in Portugal to finish of our new album, entitled  "A finger in the Sun", with the musical genius that is Boz Boorer.

Today we are proud to release our Summer video from the Album, entitled "Men and Motors", which is a humourous look at the car culture of the lads of North West London in the 1970's and 1980's. It features some landmarks which will be familiar to many locals. 

We think it's a banging tune, it features a snippet of Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" as many men's biggest joy in life is there motor (although we are not allowed to say that anymore!) with a musical nod to Madness "Driving in my car" hidden in the mix!

Click link for tickets
And we are doubly pleased to announce that the False Dots will be resuming their residency at The Dublin Castle in Camden Town on Friday 15th September, where you'll be able to hear this fine number and the rest of the album in the flesh.



So if you like a bit of skanking, London music and a bit of a party, you know what you need to do!

And  finally, we still have our Burnt Oak Boogie mugs on sale at Mill Hill Music Complex, if you fancy a bit of nice local memorabelia!


Sunday, 9 July 2023

The tweets of the week in the London Borough of - 9th July 2023

With all the talk of Twitter falling to bits and rival services starting, it is small wonder that there are still so many excellent Tweeters in Barnet. This week, we have a wonderful selection for your delectations.


1. Lets start with this rather wonderful tweet. If you look, there are many things in Burnt Oak worth a look (more of that later)


2. Good to see that there is work to keep the Silk Stream in good shape.


3. It is almost criminal that this landmark was knocked down.


4. I saw one of these billboards and assumed it was an advert for underwear, not porn sites. Not really sure that porn should be advertised on High Street posters


5. Mark Amies @Time_nw account has long been a favourite here, here's another reason why


6. SOme wonderful pictures of Cricklewood


7. The Pre season has well and truly started for our favourite local team, the oldest in Barnet


8. I was honoured to meet the lady who runs this wonderful feed this week. They do excellent work


9. Community Focus is an amazing organisation. Check them out


10. Some musical fun in Mill Hill


That's all folks

Saturday, 8 July 2023

The Saturday List #410 - Ten things I'd tell my sixteen year old self

 I've been in a rather introspective mood of late. I was thinking about what I was like aged sixteen. When I turned sixteen, I'd just departed from Finchley Catholic High School and was about to start at Orange Hill Senior High School. I was going to as many punk rock gigs as I could, I hadn't started the False Dots, but I was discussing it with Pete Conway. Lack of instruments was the biggest obstacle. Pete was addressing this by getting a job as a trainee butcher at Dewhursts in Mill Hill. Things were very different. Money was cash, no such thing as cards for scalliwags like us. If you got paid, it was with a brown envelope on a Friday. I had a paper round to subsidise my shenanigans and would assist my Dad at his crash repair workshop MacMetals on a Saturday, cleaning and valeting cars.  If I wanted to go to the pub, I'd go with my sister, to the Three Hammers or the Railway. She'd also come along to gigs with us. She was twenty, so I'd not get asked questions. I was highly insecure about everything. In 1977, the country was in what seemed terminal decline. We'd go on Rock Against Racism marches and I was passionately into what we called "The punk ethos".

But if Dr Who turned up and gave me a lift back, so I could impart some advice to me 16 year old self on my birthday, what advice would I give? When I thought about this, I realised that good advice would address the bad decisions. I don't think I've made too many, but those that I have made, have made life far more difficult than it may have otherwise been.

1. Take your schoolwork seriously and get help if you are struggling. Going to Orange Hill School was one of the best decsions I ever made. I made a few wonderful life long friends and I scraped through O Levels and A levels and got basic qualifications that served me well, almost by accident. I didn't take my studies seriously and a couple of the teachers were not wonderful. For Maths, we had four different teachers in the two years of the A Level course. I failed. Two wasted years. If I'd said to my folks, can you get a tutor to get me through this, I'd have passed. Would it have changed anything? Maybe, maybe not but it is crazy wasting two years on a subject and failing. My parents would have been happy to. I have realised that if you are struggling, ask for help. It doesn't just apply to Maths.

2. Appreciate your Father and try not to argue with him. My Dad died when I was 24 and I still miss him. I spent far too long arguing with him and not talking to him. I wish I'd bitten my tongue, played more snooker with him and taken up a few of the offers he made of expensive holidays in Florida. At the time, I saw it as a good opportunity to get my mates around for a party, as I had the house to myself. I cannot describe how much I regret not being a better son for him. Shortly before he died, we had a curry, played snooker and sat up until 3am drinking scotch as Mum was away. It was probably the only time we had a truly adult night together. I was working for BT at the time on putting the Link ATM project in. He told me that he was really proud of the fact that I'd managed to get a good job and a lovely girlfriend (Clare, now my wife). He said that I should always appreciate that such things are luck and always thank the Good Lord to be blessed with good luck. He said the worst people in the world are those who think they get such things because they are wonderful.

3. You can sing, not in a classically good way and rite songs that are upbeat, funny and personal., but in a way people enjoy. Last year, aged 59 years old, The False Dots performed their first gig, after 44 years, with myself as lead singer. We previewed a new set that we've spent 2 years perfecting and I realised that I'd wasted 44 years, standing to one side playing guitar. I am a bit of a show off and I thoroughly enjoy singing and the crowds seem to like it. Write songs that are upbeat, funny and personal. One of the big differences to the False Dots pre 2022 and now is that the songs we do now are funny and up beat, whereas the humour previously was fairly dark and the songs were a bit too worthy. I genuinely believe that if I'd found our true niche aged 16 instead of 60, my musical career would have been far more fullfilling and fun. It has been a great ride, but I absolutely love what we do now and it is far more of a laugh than anything we did before.

4. There is never enough time. I can't count the number of times I've not bought tickets for an artist or band and they've died/split up. Girls I wanted to ask out at school and prevaricated, only for a mate to step in, places I wanted to visit, only for the political situation to change and it become impossible. We can't do everything we want, but if you really want something, go for it.

5. Don't waste your time on people who don't show you respect. When I was sixteen, I had a massive inferiority complex. I thought I was ugly, useless, thick and doomed to a miserable life. Much of this had been because some of my teachers and my headmaster at FCHS had told me this. With hindsight, I am angry that these people, paid a good wage to lift me up, pushed me down. I have overcome it, but no thanks to them. I genuinely feel some would have been happy to see me jump off London Bridge. I would tell my sixteen year old self that if people are not showing you respect, do not take their views into account. One of my Teachers at FCHS, John Shutter, always was respectful and did his best to push me in the right direction, even though his efforts were not always appreciated or reciprocated. To me, he is the model of what a teacher should be. His example was one I have always tried to emulate, when I've had people to mentor. 

6. Look after your health. My life has been blighted by health challenges and sadly many are self inflicted. I've always kept myself fit, but I've opted for massively stressful work options, drunk far too much to cope on occasions and had irregular sleeping patterns due to work. When you get to 60, it all starts to catch up with you. Listen to your body.

7. Dump toxic friends. This is the hardest and most bitter lesson. I don't have toxic friends now, I'm blessed, but between the age of sixteen and 35, there were some people in my life who caused me untold misery. What puzzles me is why I put up with them for so long. Nowadays, if I conclude someone is not on my side, I don't make a song and dance about it, but I simply avoid them and if I see them be polite and absent myself as soon as possible.

8. Address my anger issues earlier. Many of the bad decisions I've made are made when in a rage. When I was 33 I sought counselling to try and mitigate this. It has been a journey and in truth I am not there yet, maybe I never will be, but the penny slowly dropped. The decisions I make now are better as a result and have been for a long time. When I look back on the bad decisions I made in life, so many were made when fuming about something and sheer pig headedness meant that I wouldn't acknowledge I'd made a mistake. In truth, many decisions, I'd have come to the same conclusion, but I wouldn't have burned the bridges that I burned in the process.

9. Have no faith in politicians. I used to be a very passionate supporter of the Labour party. The lies and deceit of the Blair era cured me of that. Sadly in this world, the only way to really change bad things is through politicians, but if you have blind faith in them you'll always end up being disappointed.

10. Have faith,  it will all turn out good in the end. Despite all of the setbacks, problems and crosses to carry, if I dropped dead tomorrow, I could only thank the Good Lord for the most amazing ride. It has been a blast. I am proud of what I've achieved, of my missus, of my family. I wouldn't swap my life for anyone elses. Yesterday, I was feeling very down and it wasn't the first time in my life, but the clouds have passed. The tide comes in and the tide goes out, problems come and go, but the sun will keep rising in the East. There is stuff to do. The False Dots have a gig to prepare for on 15th September at The Dublin Castle, an album to release, a website to revamp and a new song to record. 

Here's a taster of what you will see if you join us.

Friday, 7 July 2023

Today, I'm not even bothering to pretend to be cheerful - Rog T's cancer blog

I'm sick of it all. I was OK yesterday, I hope I'll be OK tomorrow, but right now I'm not OK. I'm a pretty robust person, I think I cope OK with life most of the time. But I have days when I don't. Normally, when I don't have the challenges I have at the moment, it doesn't last too long. Sometimes and hour, sometimes a day, rarely longer.  These feelings sneak up on you. I had a pleasant enough evening last night with friends. When I woke up, I felt OK. took the dogs out in the sun.

When you find yourself in these moments, it seems to me that when you find yourself in a position of vulnerability, there are certain types of people spot the weakness and see it as a great opportunity to put the boot in. What is it in human nature that makes some souls so evil? I can cope with cancer, I can cope with horrible people. I can cope with getting a good kicking (metaphorically), but sometimes you think to yourself "why bother". I find myself thinking, can I really be arsed with all of this aggravation. I think, why not just tell them all to stick it up their arses and wander off into the sunset (or Switzerland), just for a moment (no I am not seriously thinking that, but there are moments where it appeals). Not clinically, I am not at a stage where that is even a consideration, but when one looks at days, weeks, months, years of shite, what is the attraction of going through all of that, especially when you have to fend off the attention of idiots. I do wonder what decisions I'd make if I was single and didn't have kids. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't deliberately do anything to upset them, just because I am feeling down and morose. That would be selfish, but I do get why people do, especially at times like this.

I worry that when I am in this mood, if someone provokes me,  I  may just lose the plot completely. Maybe in five minutes, fifty minutes, five hours, five days I'll be as right as rain. These feelings generally don't last too long, but they are not great. I am doing a shift on studio reception as I write this. This can be a blessing or a curse. Most of our customers are great and it is a pleasure to see them, this will lift my mood, but one or two are very hard work. Quite a few read these blogs and ask after me. Most of the time, this is great, but when you are feeling down, it is stressful. I don't wish to drag people down. The sad truth though, is that life goes on. When you are feeling down, the world doesn't stop for you. 

A couple of years ago, I wrote a song summing up how I feel in my darkest moments. Maybe I feel like this one or two percent of the time. 


I spoke to someone this morning, who suggested a bit of counselling may help. If this feeling were to persist, then I will start to explore that. The trouble is when I am feeling like this I simply can't be bothered to pick up the phone and when it lifts I really don't need to. 

I don't generally share these moods in blogs. In more normal times (for me) I have a morning like this every two or three months and it lasts a couple of hours. It has been a far more frequent feeling over the last few months, for obvious reasons. They say that stress is a major causal factor in the development of cancers. In some ways, it's no surprise to me that the fall out from the pandemic on my business has caused us significant stress over the last three years. The end of 2022 was an especially difficult period for us and in hindsight, it is not overly surprising that this may have contributed to the relatively recent developments in my prognosis. So far this year, things have been slightly better and the business is now breaking even. Our current challenge is to grow the business into profit and build up some cash reserves. Trying to do that whilst working out whether to have surgery or radiotherapy is in some ways a stress I could do without, but one I can't avoid. Some people have it far worse, I get that, but this is my journey. 

I'm not writing this because I want to jump in front of a train or because I am feeling self destructive. I am writing this because from what I can deduce, all of us on this cancer journey have these feelings and it is almost impossible to discuss them with your loved ones. In truth, my main emotion is overwhelming anger. Why?

Today, I was supposed to have a consultation with the UCLH surgery team. It seems that they have cocked up the appointment. No one has been in touch and there is no appointment showing. This is not the first appointment cock up in recent times and it is grating to say the least. I've no idea why they have not set up the appointment, but it is clear that all is not well with the way they schedule appointments. There is no number to ring up, and emails may or may not elicit a response. I've no idea whether the people who set these systems up and administer realise the effect that such cock ups have on people who are living with cancer and other serious conditions. The last thing you need is the anxiety and aggravation of having to chase such things up. What bothers me most is that someone else's casual admin cock up, might just mean I give some random person a blast of temper or a flood of tears, because they caught me at the wrong moment. 

--- About this feature
For those of you who are regular readers and have read the previous posts on Cancer, there's what this is all about. I write this blog because knowledge is power and if you know what you are dealing with, you have more weapons in the locker to fight it. It is a personal view, I'm not medically qualified. This is for the sole purpose of information for those who are interested.This is the latest installment in my occasional series about how I'm adjusting to living with a big C in my life.  For those of you who aren't, here's a quick summary. I'm 60 years old and in October 2011 I  had a prostate biopsy following two "slightly high" PSA tests - 2.8 & 4.1. The biopsy took ten tissue samples and one of these showed a "low grade cancer" which gave me a 3+3 on the Gleason scale. I was put on a program of active monitoring.  In early February, I got the results of the a PSA test - down to 3.5 and an MRI scan which found absolutely nothing, two more tests in 2012 were at 3.5 and 3.9, in 2013 my test was 4.0, Jan 2014 was 3.8, August 2014 was 4.0,  February 2015 it was  up to 5.5  and my latest in August 2015 was down again at 4.6. In October 2015 I had a transperinial Prostate biopsy, that revealed higher grade cancer and my Gleason score was raised to 3+4 (Small mass + more aggressive cancer). On 22nd Jan 2016 I had HIFU (Hi Intensity Focused Ultrasound) treatment at UCHL). My post procedure PSA in May was 4.0 which was down, followed by 3.7 in August, and 3.5 in October  which means that the direction is positive . However in January the follow up MRI revealed "something unusual which requires investigation" After a follow up biopsy, it appeared this was nothing to worry about. My two most recent PSA tests were Ok (3.7 and 4.6) and an MRI scan in March was very positive. A  PSA in October 2019 was 4.6, so stable and good news, the last in May 2020 was 5.45 a small rise, so worrying, however after a review against the most recent MRI, it was decided that this was fine. My two latest ones in February 2022 was 6.7 and October 2022 was 6.6 was stable. My MRI in March 2022 showed 'a change' so I am now awaiting a biopsy. I had a PSA test in late March which also showed a marked increase to 10.3. I had an MRI scan that showed 'significant change'. This lead to a biopsy that indicated a tumour of 4mm that had a gleason score of 4+4. A PSA test in June saw a rise to 12. I've seen the  surgical and oncology team and am making my mind up as to what I choose. 

Things are not great but they are not dire either. 

 I've no symptoms apart from needing to wee quite regularly and sadly for a few people, if I'm gonna die soon, it (hopefully) won't be from Prostate cancer. Got the picture?


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Wednesday, 5 July 2023

What happened to all of the Conservatives in the Conservative party

 One of the major disagreements I had with my father over the years was about politics. He was a staunch Conservative. I was a staunch Labour supporter. He would get very heated when we discussed such matters, feeling that I should accept that he knew more about the world and agree with him. To complicate matters even further my mum was a socialist. As my father found it difficult to debate the matter with me for more than two minutes without losing his rag, I found it hard to fully understand his viewpoint. 

After he died, I asked my mother what his political philosophy was and why he was a Tory. She explained that as my father had been raised in the outback of Australia, he believed in self sufficiency. He believed that Conservatives were sensible, moderate people, who ran businesses, became officers in the armed forces, ran institutions. They were solid, sound and paternal. He felt that socialists wanted handouts and something for nothing. He believed that the world was fundamentally unfair and pretending otherwise benefitted no one. 

I have been thinking about this a lot recently. In my fathers day, the local Conservative party was made up of butchers, bakers, bank managers, headmasters, retired colonels etc. Most were also members of local golf clubs, Rotary clubs and Masonic lodges. None were at all ideological. They joined such organisations as they felt it was good for business and also because the organisations would do good work for local charities. The local MP would be involved with much of this. My Dad was on good terms with John Gorst, who was the long standing MP for Hendon North. On a couple of occasions, I got to spend time with Gorst. He was a proper old school Tory. I once asked him how he got on with his Labour colleagues at Westminster. His answer somewhat surprised me. He said that he got on really well with most of the Northern Labour MP's and felt they were good, honest, hard working people who were doing their best for the people they represented. He then said that in London, there were a few who were 'loony lefties" who were only interested in ideological purity. He also told me that if he wanted something sensible doing in Parliament, he'd make sure he got the support of sensible Labour MP's and work across party lines. He also told me that there were plenty of back channels that sensible MP's and Lords used to ensure the UK stayed on the straight and narrow. Gorst lost his seat to Andrew Dismore in 1997 and I never saw him again, my father had died a decade earlier. Much of the advice he gave me, I used to try and use my blog to build cross party support against the loony right of Barnet Council, as they tried to re-invent the council under Mike Freer. Many of the staunchest supporters of our campaign to oppose the abolition of pay and display parking were staunch Tories and we got them on board for other campaigns as well. This helped Barnet kick out Brian Coleman, who was the author of the Pay and Display policy, during the GLA elections of 2012. 

It became clear to me then that the sensible, old school Tories of my Dad's era were in full retreat. A new generation were on the rise. They were far more ideoloically motivated. Many have never done a days hard slog (what may be called by some a proper job). They are graduates, management consultants, lawyers, political assistants. The days when Butchers and Bakers were part of the club seems long gone. When you read their profiles, they "have interests in" rather than jobs on their profiles. If you look at the Hendon Conservatives website, the councillors don't list their jobs. I find this strange. 

As for our MP's. When I watch #BBCQT and other shows, I am struck by how rare it is, these days, to see a solid, old school style Tory, who can string two coherent sentences together. The cabinet seems to be stacked full of people who seem to be both incompetent and overwhelmed. The current mess with Suella Braverman and the Rwanda policy is a prime example. It may well be that eventually a few people are sent to Rwanda. It won't stop the problem and will cost an absolute fortune. If I was launching a policy, I'd have the legal position sorted out before I submitted it to Parliament. The likes of Braverman rant about 'Lefty Lawyers', but if you've done your homework, then they would have no legal basis to challenge the legislation and if they have, there is no point enacting it. 

Much as simplistic solutions may seem appealling, if they are unworkable all they do is cost money. I've long thought the only way to stop the boats is to pay the French and make payment contingent on actually stopping the boats. Once you hav effective policing in place, the problem will stop.

You can see the same incompetence in the governments dealings with rail unions, nurses and public workers. These disputes will eventually be settled, but we have a government that seems more interested in shouting than talking. When your own policies have caused rampant inflation, expecting workers to take a massive hit in the pocket is the height of stupidity. 

It was not always like this. I remember when Tory education minister Kenneth Baker brought in inset days for training (originally called 'Baker days'), to try and improve teaching standards. Michael Heseltine responded to riots in Liverpool by sorting out aid and doing something to address the social issues in the city. He is probably the only Tory who is reasonably well thought of there. 

Small businesses used to be the bedrock of the local Conservative party. They expected Conservative governments and councils to not do stupit things that mucked your business up. They expected taxes to be at a level that businesses could sustain. The Tories have raised VAT to 20%, the highest rate ever and one that is the bain of the life of most small businesses. I raised this with our Conservative MP. He said that as 'we could reclaim most of it back, it's broadly neutral'. As a services company, we claim little of our turnover back and we pass the costs directly to customers who are generally are not VAT registered businesses. Rates have soared, minimum wages have also shot up. I am all for paying people fairly, but when you've come through a pandemic and your levels of business have not recovered, being forced to raise wages puts a huge strain on a business. This is reflected inthe fact that my business has lost 30% of our workforce, in an attempt to manage costs. I find myself working twice as hard and having less in my wallet at the end of the week.

When I talk to other small businesses, they all say the same thing. We watch politicians like the Chancellor Jeremy Hunt delivering budgets, claiming to be business friendly, only to discover that we are even worse off than before. Most of the small business people I know do not think the Conservative government is looking after them. I am sure that many will think "why should any government look after businesses, if you go into business, you should be prepared to graft to earn a living". The answer is that small businesses provide innovation, jobs and keep the economy on track.If you have an economy where small businesses can thrive, you have a strong economy and you can afford the things such as social care. Unlike multi national corporations, small businesses can't offshore profits to avoid tax. All of the money we generate stays in the local economy. Anyone involved in the sector knows this, but we have a government that simply hasn't got a clue. It seems to me that there are plenty of senior Conservatives who have an opinion on everything but experience of nothing.

I do wonder what my father would have made of it all?

Tuesday, 4 July 2023

There is no reason why you shouldn't enjoy your job, except for the whims of your bosses - Work Special

 Last week, we had a young lady on work experience at the studios and a local handyman doing some repairs. The pair of them hit it off, as you may well surmise from this post on our instagram


Later on in the afternoon, my friend who is the handyman, who has just retired from a long career working in London on the maintenance team for one of London's most prestigious organisations commented that he was enjoying working at the studio and had never worked anywhere as chilled or relaxed. It got me thinking about the various 'proper jobs' I had in my life. For the first 15 years of it's life, Mill Hill Music Complex was a not for profit musicians collective, with any profit being ploughed back in to enable us to have the best gear to rehearse with. In 1994, I embarked, with new partners, on an ambitious 15 year plan to build it into London's pre-eminent independent music rehearsal complex. I will leave the success of that scheme to other to decide. My plan was to retire from my more sensible career in 2009 and concentrate on music. It didn't quite work out like that, taking another eight years.

In my career in IT, I worked for a range of the best known companies in the UK. I don't talk about it too much, not least due to non disclosure agreements etc. But my friends comment made me think about the places I worked at. The first IT job I had, I started 40 years ago in October, for SPL International. This was one of the UK's top software companies at the time. Rather bizarrely, I started on a Friday. The reason? There was a team booze up and curry at lunchtime. My boss wanted me to meet the team. I ended my first day fairly bladdered. On Saturday, when I sobered up, I realised my first day had consisted of turning up, going for a curry, going to the pub and staggering home at 9pm.  I wondered if I would still have a job when I got in on Monday.

I was surprised to find that no one batted an eyelid. The job was a joy. I was 21 and so were many of the people I worked with, as the firm took 40-50 graduates a year. There was a work hard, play hard mentality. Many were doing their first job and were fresh out of University. The company actively encouraged us to socialise, whilst making it clear we had to work when work needed to be done. I was never pressured to work. Often, I'd find work for myself. If I had nothing to do, I'd help Ted, the Maintenance guy, to fix doors etc. I also got a strong grounding in the job. The atmosphere was relaxed and the firm gave the team cash every month for a team booze up. 

After about a year, disaster struck. Another software company called System Designers bought the company. There was a different culture. After about a year, I was informed I couldn't contune to do my job, as they only employed Graduates and I was too thick. So I went off to new pastures new. To my horror, I learned that not all offices are the same. In some, an air of mysery pervades, only cushioned by a doubling of salary. In truth, the work was amazing and I enjoyed that, but none of the miserable buggers ever wanted a beer after work. After my then boss tried to humiliate me when my father unexpectedly died (yes really), I'd had enough. I left for a far less interesting job, where a mate worked and they liked a beer. A 30% payrise again cushioned the blow of not being the top man on a brilliant project, but I had good work and it was pleasant. After 18 months, I'd had enough of the less interesting work. I got another job, with another 25% pay rise and even more boring work. Sadly there was not much of a team spirit. After around 3 years, they had a voluntary redundancy scheme and gave me around £12,000 to go. This meant I could travel, which had been my long term plan.

I arranged a leaving do and a mate offered me a short term contract with a 50% pay rise. Seemed like a no brainer to delay the travel for 9 months, which turned into 18. The work was hell, the environment was hell, but I earned a lot of cash so was happy. Then I travelled for three months.

When I got back, I got a six month contract, at the same money. It lasted 14 years and was good work and a wonderful working environment. When it finished, I went elsewhere, and it was well paid, but a bit grim. In 2012, I decided the time had come to end my IT career and focus on the studio. Sadly, the building project for our new studio went very badly, took a year longer than anticipated and by 2013, I had run out of cash, so got a very good IT job at Lloyds bank, to tide me over. It was a great environment and wonderful work. In late 2015, a mate persuaded me to join him elsewhere. I was promised riches, stature and interesting work. I jumped and it was the worst thing I ever did. The project got cancelled, the atmosphere was terrible and after 18 months, it finished. The only good thing was the finances were sorted and it affirmed that my love affair with IT was over. 

So what was the big lesson I learned? It was that it makes no difference at all to your productivity whether you are happy or miserable. However, if you are happy, you tend to stay longer and live longer. Why would anyone ever choose to be miserable, when they could be happy. Some bosses try and make a good environment. I am going for a beer with one of my good ex bosses tonight. A man I respect. There are some I'd run a mile from if I saw them. Some times it isn't the boss that causes the problems, just a toxic member of staff. Whatever it is, if it isn't working, I'd start looking for something else. 

Of all the bosses I've had, the worst of all was perhaps the most surprised when I left. I had a s debrief from HR (or personel as it used to be called). They asked why I was leaving. I told them that I couldn't work for someone who delighted in upsetting people. To my surprise, they said that no one had ever said this about the individual before. I asked how many people had left the department in the last six months. The answer was about 1/4 of the team members. I pointed out that they were all newer members of staff and bright. It was clear to me that they couldn't stand the work environment. They said "The department has always had good staff retention". I replied that it didn't have now. If you are not holding on to staff, especially new ones, you should be looking at why. It costs money to recruit. I don't think a drinking culture is necessary to have a good work environment. When I worked at Lloyds, we did things like entering fun runs, going to comedy clubs and doing other team events. There was a scheme where staff could be appreciated. As I was in management, I always exploited this too the full and several staff told me it was nice to be appreciated. Another manager told me that he didn't bother because staff should "just do their jobs". It was missing the point and if the company was willing to buy your team a curry or a key staff member a hamper for doing a good job, then take it. 

I have realised that good leadership means happy staff, staff who stay longer. It may or may not improve productivity, but as stress is bad for health, it is the sensible thing to do. When here is no reason why you shouldn't enjoy your job, except for the whims of your boss, make sure you work for  a boss who's whim is to make you happy.

Monday, 3 July 2023

Stress, Anger and a difficult decision to make - Rog T's Cancer Blog

"How are you Rog?"

"I'm fine".

That is the conversation you will have with me if you stop me in M&S. Why? Because you probably don't want to hear the truth and I probably don't want to waste your time. How would it go if I was honest and you were prepared to listen?

"How are you Rog?"

"I'm a complete fucking mess and I'm really f@@cking angry. I have what for me is an almost impossible decision and I think that the way the NHS is set up does not give me the proper opportunity to make a truly informed decision. I have no issue at all with the quality of care, but I have a massive choice to make and I feel that the way the information is being presented to me is not really giving me the chance to be certain." 

So why would I say that? Why am I angry?  Well I saw the oncology team at the Royal Free a couple of weeks ago and I saw the surgical team at UCLH last Friday. I have to say that the Oncology team at The Royal Free gave me 100% confidence and answered my questions in a manner that I felt gave me a good feeling as to the pro's and cons, no issue there. The surgeon I saw at UCLH , who is one of the leading surgeons in the world, and on a technical level is the person I want to do an op if I have one, felt almost like a double glazing salesman, trying to convince me that I'd be insane to consider anything else other than surgery.

I felt it was pretty clear that the surgeon immediately decided that I was a bit of a moron (probably rightly when it comes to treating cancer, he's a world expert, I run a music studio and have two rather poor A Levels). In fairness to him, he's not selling double glazing, he's trying to save my life and he clearly believes that surgery is the only sensible option, but to say that he didn't seem to understand my concerns about surgery and issues with surgery is a wild understatement.

So what are my concerns? Well I am 60 years old and if I have surgery, it will mean I am functionally impotent. It may be that I can get an erection with viagra or a pump, but as best I understand, there will be little, if no sensation. As I had HifU in 2016, he informed me that it was virtually impossible to 'spare the nerve endings', as there is significant scar tissue. If I have radiotherapy, there is around a 70% chance I will eventually have some normal erectile function. My surgeon explained that the downside was that there is a 1 in 5 chance that the cancer will return and then I will have to have brutal surgery and I will not only be impotent, but also completely incontinent. He said that this would be far worse than not being able to have spontanious sex ever again. To him, yes this is a no brainer, but it isn't to me.

The more I think about it, the more the way the NHS manages these issues infuriates me. I do not want to speak to different teams at different times. I want a conference call, with all of the disciplines, so I can hear each side and be able to challenge them with both sides giving answers. Clearly surgeons think surgery is better and oncologists think their path is better (although the oncologists advised me to have surgey or hifu in 2016 and they didn't this time). In truth, my surgeon is right, he is better qualified to tell me the outcomes, but so are the oncology team and what they told me, if not contradicting each other, are laying out two scenarios which have very different pros and cons. Having both on the same call would mean I could actually get a more balanced view.

After the call, in the evening I had a curry with a mate who had surgery in 2018. He said it worked for him. He cannot get an erection but he's fine with that. He was pleased to have got it done in one go. Radiotherapy is a 7 month programme, which for him seemed to be a path likely to cause significant stress. I realised we value different things. For me, the concept that at some distant point in the future I may, once again, have some sort of sex life, is a hope to cling to.

I wonder how many men die for fear of losing sexual function. It is clear to me that the medical community do not properly appreciate this. If I'd had surgery, as the surgical team recommended in 2016, I'd most probably be in the same situation as my friend, albiet two years further down the monastic route. As it is, I had seven years in which I lead a full life on my terms. My surgeon intimated I was mad having HiFu in the first place as this was why I was now in this position, but I see it as having gained seven years worth of a full life. I was reminded of when my mother was advised to stop drinking and go on wharfarin in 2007. She said that she was 82 and would rather enjoy what time she had left. 

I think I am a tad unusual in that I am not in the least bit scared of death. I am more scared of a life that is bland and dull. I'd rather take my chances and live with my choices. My friend who had the op told me one of his mates, who had a normal prostate removal (mine is more difficult due to HiFU), has been incontinent since, there are no guarantees that I wouldn't be in the same position. From the surgical perspective, if I am alive in five years time with no re-occurance, it's job done. 

I have come to the conclusion that Prostate cancer will remain a major killer of men until there is an option where your ability to have sex is unaffected. I asked the surgeon what would happen if I simply ignored the situation. He said that it would be 2-5 years before I saw any symptoms, by which time it would have invaded my bones and I may have another 3-7 years, depending. He seemed horrified that I'd asked the question. It is an option but it helps me make an informed decision. It is not an option I will consider, I just wanted to know. I am swinging strongly towards radiotherapy but I am still thinking about it and I am cross as I cannot get all of my questions answered in one hit. It all adds to the stress and anxiety. The NHS needs to get it's act together and get these teams working together, speaking to patients together and supporting them. Telling patients that difficult decisions are 'no brainers' does not help.

I know reading this is pretty hard for some. I know some will want to ring and chat and offer support. To be honest, I am not really in the mood to discuss too much with anyone. In fact, I am actually OK on one level. I am getting on with all the things I have to and I am managing my anger and anxiety. I'm getting everything in order. I am finishing off the False Dots album and working towards our launch and gigs in September and November. As to the other stuff, I am lucky. I have a strong partner who is supporting me and who is not judging me. I am one lucky S-O-A-B in many ways.

However this washes out, it won't be great. It will be the lesser of two evils. Whatever choice, no matter how moronic others may judge it, I will live by it. As with the HiFU decision. My surgeon may think I was nuts, but I am happy I did it. In life nothing is set in stone. 

--- About this feature
For those of you who are regular readers and have read the previous posts on Cancer, there's what this is all about. I write this blog because knowledge is power and if you know what you are dealing with, you have more weapons in the locker to fight it. It is a personal view, I'm not medically qualified. This is for the sole purpose of information for those who are interested.This is the latest installment in my occasional series about how I'm adjusting to living with a big C in my life.  For those of you who aren't, here's a quick summary. I'm 60 years old and in October 2011 I  had a prostate biopsy following two "slightly high" PSA tests - 2.8 & 4.1. The biopsy took ten tissue samples and one of these showed a "low grade cancer" which gave me a 3+3 on the Gleason scale. I was put on a program of active monitoring.  In early February, I got the results of the a PSA test - down to 3.5 and an MRI scan which found absolutely nothing, two more tests in 2012 were at 3.5 and 3.9, in 2013 my test was 4.0, Jan 2014 was 3.8, August 2014 was 4.0,  February 2015 it was  up to 5.5  and my latest in August 2015 was down again at 4.6. In October 2015 I had a transperinial Prostate biopsy, that revealed higher grade cancer and my Gleason score was raised to 3+4 (Small mass + more aggressive cancer). On 22nd Jan 2016 I had HIFU (Hi Intensity Focused Ultrasound) treatment at UCHL). My post procedure PSA in May was 4.0 which was down, followed by 3.7 in August, and 3.5 in October  which means that the direction is positive . However in January the follow up MRI revealed "something unusual which requires investigation" After a follow up biopsy, it appeared this was nothing to worry about. My two most recent PSA tests were Ok (3.7 and 4.6) and an MRI scan in March was very positive. A  PSA in October 2019 was 4.6, so stable and good news, the last in May 2020 was 5.45 a small rise, so worrying, however after a review against the most recent MRI, it was decided that this was fine. My two latest ones in February 2022 was 6.7 and October 2022 was 6.6 was stable. My MRI in March 2022 showed 'a change' so I am now awaiting a biopsy. I had a PSA test in late March which also showed a marked increase to 10.3. I had an MRI scan that showed 'significant change'. This lead to a biopsy that indicated a tumour of 4mm that had a gleason score of 4+4. A PSa test in June saw a rise to 12. I've seen the  surgical and oncology team and am making my mind up as to what I choose. 

Things are not great but they are not dire either. 

 I've no symptoms apart from needing to wee quite regularly and sadly for a few people, if I'm gonna die soon, it (hopefully) won't be from Prostate cancer. Got the picture?


Sunday, 2 July 2023

The Tweets of the Week in the London Borough of Barnet - 2nd July 2023


How's my week been? We'll leave that there.

I've long thought this feature needs a picture. But what sums up Barnet? We need an image that encapsulates the Borough. Barnet is not the West End or Camden Town, but it is a wonderful place with a fascinating history. The Battle of Barnet was the key battle of the English Civil War. Hendon was the key in the development of flying. Cricklewood had studios and Bentley cars originated there. The musical history is rich and we have the largest population of any London Borough, but the logo is boring and anonymous. Surely this needs changing. 

If you see the amazing murals at Cricklewood station (see the video at the end of this feature) you'll see what can be done with imagination.

More to the point, what have the Tweeters of the Borough of Barnet been up to. We skipped this feature for a couple of weeks due to the Mill Hill Music Festival, but we are back with a bang!

1. We all know that Wimbledon is starting, but did you know yesterday saw the start of the Pre Season Friendlies in the football world. Sorry to have missed this


2. Whilst on the subject of local football, this made me feel nostalgic. Like much of the best of Edgware, now only a distant memory


3. If you are a Burnt Oaker, this is worth a look


4. We agree!


5. I love a bit of Nepalese cuisine. This is on the list!


6. Work Experience, Mill Hill style!


7. This tweet rather fascinated me. I know nothing of #Akum and I'd never heard of the Cavendish Banqueting suit in Colindale. Me? I love a good banquet , so I guess it may come in handy one day!


8. A date for your diary


9. Progress on the Borough's newest station!


10. Why not indeed!


As promised!