Sunday, 3 June 2012

A poem for the failed Lib Dem Candidate for Hendon

Last night, I went to see the superb John Cooper Clarke at Stoke Newington Town Hall, as part of the Stoke Newington Literary Festival. As ever JCC was superb. Given the behaviour of a certain gentleman towards the bloggers of Barnet in recent weeks, one JCC poem stood out and had me in stitches. I thought that you may also appreciate it.

Having discussed the behaviour of said individual with a fellow bloggeress, we have decided that it is purely attention seeking behaviour, being done primarily to draw attention and hits to his own turgid blog. As such we have decided to ignore him, until such time as he decides to stop running around with his willy out to draw attention to himself (metaphorically speaking). If nothing else though, he has given us the opportunity to share an excellent JCC poem with you.

We are planning to visit the queens pagaent today. I hope whatever you do, you enjoy.


Mrs Angry said...

oh dear ... tee hee

Matthew Harris said...

Alas, my blackberry won't open the video. If you say what the poem is, I'll look it up elsewhere and read or watch it.

What actually happened is that I was told that Daniel Hope had written interestingly about a Conservative candidate on his Barnet Bugle site. So I looked that up, and it led me to a post on Mrs Angry's Broken Barnet site, so I read that, and I commented on what it said on my JC blog, because I thought what it said about Greeks and Jews was interesting.

You then described that on your blog as being a ferocious attack on Barnet Bloggers (which it wasn't) and attacked me on your blog in highly personal terms, to which I have responded on my blog. Mrs Angry picked up your post and wrote about it, me (and more about Greeks and Jews) again on her blog, so I responded to that, also on my blog. You chaps have actually written far more about me than I have about you.

Newsflash, Roger - you do not frighten me. You frighten some people, because they know that you can write very harshly about people who criticise you, but you do not frigten me.

You and a bunch of 'Barnet Bloggers' have set yourselves up as the conscience of our borough. You are claiming a major role in the outcome of a recent election. You clearly want to have a big role in the politics of our borough. You personally tried it in the Labour Party, tried it in the Lib Dems and are now trying it as an Independent Blogger, producing 'community films', etc.

Roger, we all saw what George Galloway did to win Bradford West using social media. We can all see exactly what you are doing, if not to gain elected office, then certainly to gain influence in our local life. You Barnet Bloggers are doing that as a group.

If I see something on a Barnet Blog that I don't like, then I shall say so. And look what happens when I did. You pour opprobrium on my head and tell me that I am not allowed to write about your views, scorn and derision being your stock in trade. I know, I know, there you are trying to dominate the public life of a London borough, and some awkward liberal like me lies in the road in front of your bulldozer. Annoying, isn't it?

Morris Hickey said...

"....some awkward liberal....lies in the road in front of your bulldozer".

Can we all look forward to a literal manifestation of that analogy?

Rog T said...

Matthew F Harris
The poem is called "I've never heard a liberal admit they are wrong" by John Cooper Clarke.


If Matthew lay in front of any bulldozer, it would be the nearest thing he'd done to a useful contribution to any campaign, ever

Anonymous said...

Chaps, please don't allow your blogs to descend to the same level of childish squabble that comprises Prime Minister's Questions and does so much to convince the general public that political discourse is the activity of goobers.

Moaneybat said...

@Matthew Harris

I'd do this on your blog but as today's LibDem is a bit of a chancer, (what a chance they grabbed) there would be nothing in your blog for me.

Sad to say, like one of Barnet's MPs, an awful lot of money has been wasted on that Oxbridge education. There comes a time and there is, always a time, when politicians aspiring or failed, sould keep gob firmly shut

You need to grow up and grow a thicker skin if you wish to politic because without that, you are no benefit to the roll neck sweater, jeans and trainers Conservative known today as Liberal Democrat.

You say, "If I see something on a Barnet Blog that I don't like, then I shall say so and look what happens."

If some of us had views on Israel and it's "neighbourly" towards it's equally 'neighbourly" neighbours in that complex region. I dare say it would be misconstrued as anti-semitism in Barnet and as such not wanting to fall out with British Jewish, Israeli Jewish and Arab friends, one keeps their gob well shut and does it's best to appreciate the other.

You obviously still have a desire to be elcted. The problem with political jokes is they get elected. Stay lucky!

Matthew Harris said...

@Moaneybat What, you're saying that as someone who lives in Barnet, I'm not allowed to discuss the things that 'Barnet Bloggers' say, because it might offend other residents?! By that logic, nobody in Barnet would ever be allowed to say anything online about local politics. And you compare your suggested need for me to keep my mouth shut to your own professed need to keep your mouth shut unless you say something about Israel that might be misconstrued as being antisemitic? The best way not to say something that might be misconstrued as being antisemitic is not to say things that are antisemitic. As a British Jew who blogs about Israel, I do not believe that it is antisemitic to criticise Israel, so please don't stay silent on my account. As for my needing a "thicker skin", I am entitled to respond if someone writes an online article that is all about my alleged personal qualities (or lack thereof) and my responding to such an article is not an indication that I am thin-skinned. I last ran for office more than two years ago and may well never stand again for anything again; even if I was seeking election (which I am not), would that remove my right to write about what 'Barnet Bloggers' have written about? Of course not!

Morris Hickey said...

Clearly some people cannot resist the slightest opportunity for spoiling what ought otherwise to be a memorable day. Why don't you all grow up and act like the mature adults that you think you are?

button55 said...

One thing you should never do Matthew is rub your local bloggers up the wrong way mate,thought you would of known that by now.!

Ken Leavingsoon said...

So, Button55 are you putting Barnet's Bloggers - 'The Famous Five' - in the category of Tony Blair's 'feral beasts' ?

"'s media, more than ever before, hunts in a pack. In these modes it is like a feral beast, just tearing people and reputations to bits."

Rog T said...


Of the five well known Barnet bloggers, three were sensible enough to completely ignore Matthew's comments. Hardly a savage pack response?

button55 said...


I can`t think of anything more feral than our local Tories attempting character assasinations on people when they are questioned about their conduct,especially the ones that choose to use Parliamentary privelege because they are too gutless to discuss it in public and pull rank,that`s ganging up..

Moaneybat said...

@matthew Harris

As we all understand, two years ago there were two failed LibDem candidates.

As to "The best way not to say something that might be misconstrued as being antisemitic is not to say things that are antisemitic."

Depends on what and how one says something for it to be racist or anti-semitic language. Glad you agree. How much can one distort language to fit the situation?

If it's "defamation of character" ( my alleged personal qualities (or lack thereof)) you're suggesting then a man of your abilities would know how to defend those compliments. Good Luck

Richard Logue said...

Exactly what have the Liberal Democrats done in Mill Hill since the last council election? From my personal point of view they have done absolutely squat. Where are the leaflets? Where are are the campaigners against the car parking nonsense, against the massive increases in Business Rates and against killing our high streets?

And now after two years of loony Barnet policies the only emergence of the Liberal Democrats is from Mr. Harris who is clearly out to score points for apathy, referring to Rog as someone who frightens "some people" and on his own blog as someone who is part of the so-called Silent Majority who clearly don't give a stuff about Barnet Counciol.

Newsflash, Matthew - a lot of us do give a stuff. I just don't know why you are choosing to go on the attack but it's just too much like that famous battle in the Commons between Denis Healey and Geoffrey Howe.

I'll leave the readers of this blog to decide who the Dead Sheep is...

Don't Call Me Dave said...

Last week I Tweeted that Matthew Harris was the LibDem’s Brian Coleman. Upon reflection, I think it would have been more accurate to describe him as the LibDem’s Mike Freer. Both find it utterly incomprehensible that people could have a different opinion about anything to them.