Saturday 15 December 2018

The Saturday list #199 - The ten most overused words in the English language

This is a list I've been wanting to do for ages. What words do you think are overused?

1. Love - Love means a feeling of closeness and kinship with something or someone that causes almost physical pain with separation. You don't feel that with McFries, so don't say you love them.

2. Awesome - This means that something inspires a sense of awe. Again you do not have a sense of awe at McFries.

3. Brilliant - This means that something shines brightly, more so than all of the surrounding objects. It is completely misused to describe obscure B sides from Beatles records etc. If they were brilliant, they would be the A side.

4. Bargain - When you see something described by the seller as a bargain, you know they are lying. If it was worth more, they'd sell it for more. They want shot of it

5. Luxury - Luxury means something that is unaffordable by the ordinary person. It doesn't mean marginally better than a bog standard average one. If there was truly such thing as luxury toilet paper it would be guilded with gold leaf and a luxury appartment would cost millions, have a solid gold bath and taps that dispense the milk of yaks. A flat on the top floor of a development in Colindale, is by definition not luxury, but a bit nicer than the rest of the block.

6. Discount - This word means that something is being sold for a price less than it was originally sold for. Which means that for something to be sold at a discount, it should have been sold at a higher price originally. If a retailer says it is selling something at a discount, this is a lie unless they sold it for more previously. If it is marginally cheaper than some notional price, it is not a discount. So a retailer that advertises permanent discounts is does not really undertsand English.

7. Friends - This means people who you know, like and spend time with. It does not mean someone who knows someone, who knows someone, who knows someone who you happen to have an association with on Social media.

8. Christian - A Christian is someone who believes that the teachings of a bloke called Jesus Davidson (circa 4BC - 29AD) superceded the teachings of the Old Testament. Not someone who quotes the Old Testament book of Leveticus, very selectively, at people they disagree with.

9.  Sell out tour - If you see a tour or play being advertised as a "Sell Out Tour" it isn't a sell out, because if it was, they wouldn't be advertising it.

10. Nearly New - This usually means a bit bashed uop, missing the instructions and really rather crap.

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