Thursday, 8 October 2020

The dummies guide to good toilet protocol


The Barnet Eye likes to cover the issues that other blogs refuse to go near. Today, our subject is one of great importance to us all. We all know the feeling, a guest visits your house and when they depart, you find a surprise in the toilet, one you did not want. 

We are taught many things at school, but it seems that there is little training in considerate use of the loo. Here is our guide to being a considerate loo user. We have formulated this code of conduct for our studios, where we have constant issues with blockages and bad toilet protocol. We also advise parents to ensure their children are versed in these matters, to ensure they will always be welcome visitors.

(pic courtesy of

1. Only put bodily emissions and loo paper down the loo. Please don't put large items that block the drain down, especially wipes, nappies and sanitary towels. These block drains.

2. After you've used the toilet, flush the chain. Ensure that everything has been taken on its journey. There is nothing more yucky than going to the loo and finding that the previous user has not flushed their doings away.

3. The toilet seat is for sitting on. Please make sure it is spotless before you leave it for the next person. When people need the loo in a hurry, it is inconsiderate making them wipe it first.

4. If you leave smears on the side of the bowl, a brush is conveniently placed for you to remove these. If you have not been trained in such matters, this works best in conjunction with flushing. Make sure you lift the lid and seat before using the brush.

5. If you use and excessive amount of toilet paper, for instance, to line the seat, please put excess paper in the bin provided and not down the toilet as this blocks the loo.

6. If, for any reason, you have an issue using the toilet, please tell your hosts, rather than letting them have a surprise when they might be in a desperate hurry.  

7. Follow the accepted lid protocol. Leave the seat and lid in the same position as you found it, unless the person before has not been versed in the good toilet protocol.

I can assure you that you will always be a far more welcome guest if you follow these simple rules.

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