The Saturday list #294 - Our Top Ten conspiracy theories

 As we are all going a bit stir crazy, I thought I'd chill out, kick back and have a look at a few conspiracy theories, giving my take on how likely they are to be true and why.

1. Q-Anon. This is the perhaps the top conspiracy theory doing the rounds at the moment. They basically believe that the world is run by a bunch of paedophiles, who control everything so that they can carry out their noncing, unimpeded by the law. Interestingly, there is a Twitter account in Mill Hill dedicated to conspiracy theories, but they never mention Q-Anon or nonces? Could it be a conspiracy? 

Are Q-Anon right? Well, not moving in such circles, it is hard to tell. The activities of Prince Andrew  have not exactly done too much to dispel the rumours, but the fact we know about what he got up to perhaps tells us that the conspirators aren't quite as powerful as some think. Child abuse in the Catholic Church certainly gives some idea of just how dodgy it can be when such people get a whiff of power, and the sorry tale of Jimmy Savile is another sordid example, but to me it seems to me that it is unlikely that there is such a cabal running everything in the way Q-Anon claim.

Probability that it's true 4/10 (ie there is a bit of that going on but Q-Anon are overstating it).

2. The moon landings were a hoax. I suspect that this was started by James Bond, when Sean Connery disrupts a faked lunar landing scene in a film set in Diamonds are forever. I think there is a body of evidence that some of the pictures are dodgy, but given that the lunar landing took place at the height of the cold war, it is unlikely that the USSR wouldn't have made hay out of a faked landing. I discussed this with my Dad, an EX RAF pilot before he died, one time when we were watching Diamonds are forever. He told me that in WW2, the allies could track an enemy bomber taking off in France, so the idea that the Soviet Union couldn't spot a hoaxed landing is bonkers.  I am always amused that the same people who think the landings were a hoax believe that the USA have alien technology in Area 51. 

Probability that it's true 2/10 

3. JFK wasn't shot by Lee Harvey Oswald. There are many theories about who shot JFK. The CIA, the mob, the Russians. There have been films, documentaries and billions of lines of speculation. The whole thing stank to high heaven. It seems likely to me that Oswald was in some way involved, but was a useful idiot to blame in the plot, so that more powerful and shady people could get away with it. Will we ever be sure? I suspect we won't know in my lifetime, unless I live til I'm 120.

Probability 8/10

4. Prince Phillip is an 11 foot high lizard. This is the belief of self proclaimed messiah, David Icke. He believes Prince Phillip is a shape shifting alien and part of a cabal that rules the world (I'm not quite sure if this is the same cabal that Q-Anon suspect, and to be honest I can't really be bothered researching the views of people who are clearly bonkers). Many believe that this is simply a metaphor for Icke's anti semitism.  I well recall David Icke coming out as the Messiah on a TV chat show, in a turquoise track suit. He predicted that the channel tunnel would  be destroyed by an earthquake shortly. I suspect that this prediction was as accurate as his assertion about Prince Phillip.

Probability 0/10

5. David Bowie isn't dead. I have a friend who is a conspiracy theorist. He informed me that Bowie isn't dead. Apparently there is a theory that Bowie simply relocated to a luxury refuge to get away from an impending disaster that will wipe the rest of us out. Apparently this place is stuffed full of billionaires and their families. I've met a few billionaires and TBH if I was Bowie, I'd rather be dead than stuck with them. Sadly, the likelihood of Bowie being alive is negligible. He was a genius and loved making music, so why would he stop?| When he passed, I was tempted to think he'd faked it as his last release was Lazarus, recalling the biblical story of a man raised from the dead. Sadly, Jesus isn't walking among us at the moment and there are no known occurrences of that other messiah, David Icke, raising anyone from the dead.

Probability 0/10

6. The British charts were rigged during the Queens silver jubilee in 1977 to prevent God Save The Queen by the Sex Pistols from being number one. I know someone who used to work compiling the charts and they confirmed this, off the record, to me. The BBC still deny it, but they would, wouldn't they? Rod Stewart was the lucky beneficiary of these shenanigans.

Probability 9/10

7. Adolph Hitler did not die in his bunker. There have always been rumours that Hitler fled and lived out his days in Argentina. My Dad had a mate who was an intelligence officer at the Israeli embassy. The guy had been in the Israeli airforce and they had a shared love of flying. He told my Dad that Mossad kept an open file on the matter. He said that if there was any credible evidence, they would have moved heaven and earth to nab him and put him on trial. Although Hitler would have had the whole mechanism of the German state behind him to facilitate his escape, he would have had the largest bounty on his head in history. I tend to think my Dad's friends  analysis was correct, it was possible, but very unlikely. If he did survive, he would have lived like a rat, holed up in constant fear of Mossad, awaiting the inevitable betrayal. Not justice though. I believe he took the cowards way out, having destroyed the nation he lead.

Probability 2/10

8. Great Britain has had a base on Mars since the 1950's. This is an odd one. There is a documented Parliamentary question in Hansard about the British base on Mars in the 1950's. There is almost no other reference to this anywhere. Given the state  of our technology, this would only have been possible if the UK had entered into partnership with an alien race with Inter Stellar travel capabilities. Whilst this is perhaps possible, a more mundane explanation was that it was a codename for a secret base in a less glamourous place, in a time when people weren't obsessed with conspiracies. If we had such a deal in the 1950's, I suspect that we'd not still have railways with 60 year old diesel engines chugging around on them. 

Probability 1/10

9. The USA recovered a flying saucer and aliens from a crash at Roswell. This is a very interesting story. The initial press report clearly stated that a flying saucer had crashed. There is testimony from many witnesses that whatever crashed was extra terrestrial in its nature. The story that it was a weather balloon has been debunked. A more feasible explanation is that it was a highly advanced US test vehicle and the Yanks didn't want the USSR to know. If the craft was alien in origin and the US genuinely did have dead aliens, it seems likely that aliens would come back for their comrades. Would they end up having a treaty with the USA? It is what intelligent, sentient being tend to do. My gut feeling is that on balance it is possible but unlikely.

Probability 4/10

10. Neil Armstrong saw aliens when he landed on the moon. There is a rumour that Neil Armstrong was met by a fleet of alien space ships when he landed his craft on the moon. The live feed between Armstrong and the Earth was interrupted for two minutes. The theory is that he was describing the aliens to ground control. Armstrong never mentioned this, but then again he wouldn't. One has to assume that although the missing segment wasn't broadcast, the USSR would have been monitoring this and would be well aware of what happened. We'd have to assume that if the aliens were 'sending a message to humanity' both the USA and USSR would have got this message. One would have expected such a seismic shock to have ended the cold war and started a swift round of détente. Conspiracy theorists have always believed that this did happen behind the scenes, with a joint USA/USSR Apollo mission to recover alien artefacts from the moon. The main problem I have with these theories is that if an alien race is capable of assembling a fleet of space ships to 'send a message to earth', they would be equally capable of using a radio message to the President of the USA and arranging a face to face meeting somewhere discreet. I tend to think that the fact that Donald Trump didn't make a name for himself by revealing all of this when he had the chance, tends to indicate that it didn't happen. But then again, maybe the CIA showed him the real 'JFK files' to show him what happens to presidents who misbehave. Now there's a conspiracy theory for you!

Probability 2/10

Have a great weekend!

That's all folks