Friday 17 March 2017

The Friday Joke - 17/3/2017 - St Patrick's day special

A very happy St Patrick's day to one and all.

We celebrate the life and work of St Patrick, a Christian missionary, credited with converting Ireland to Christianity. He was actually British. As well as Ireland, he is also the patron saint of Nigeria. This may well be why Nigeria loves a Guinness!

So today, we'll have a couple of my favourite Irish and Nigerian jokes. In many ways Nigerians and Irish are similar. Both nations people have a love for life, a generous nature, a disrespect for authority and a love of shenanigans. Both nations have suffered civil was and famines as a result of colonial histories and artificial borders. And both peoples have been the butt of unfair jokes that stereotype the people in a dim light, usually driven by ignorance.

A Texan walks into a pub in Tipperary and announces "I've heard the Irish can drink. I'll give £500 US dollars to anyone who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back to back". The room falls quiet and on guy slips out of the back door. Ten minutes later he returns, taps the Yank on the shoulder and says 'line them up, I'll take your bet'. The Texan tips a nod to the barman. The Guinnesses are lined up, and drunk in short order. The Texan gives him a $500 role and then says "why did you wait ten minutes before taking the bett?' The Irish chap replied 'oh I had to nip down to Mulligans bar to see if I could do it before I took your money'

An American millionaire is on a flight in first class. As he settles a scruffy Nigerian is ushered into the seat next to him. The American asks 'Do you always fly first class' as he  thinks the guy looks a a tad poor. The Nigerian replies ' no my friend, I was booked on the previous flight, but it was full. They said they would put me up in the best hotel and fly me first class if I got the next plane. I am a poor man, I thought it would be nice to have a little luxury, so I accepted '. The American decided that the Nigerian was clearly uneducated and stupid and decided to humiliate him. He said 'can we play a little game?' The Nigerian replied 'what game is that '. The millionaire said ' I ask you a general knowledge question and if you can't answer, you give me $5, then you ask me a question, if I can't answer, I give you $500' The Nigerian says Ok. The millionaire then says 'what is the distance from the Earth to the Sun?'. The Nigerian looks glum, opens a weather beaten wallet and gives the American a crumpled $5 bill. The Millionaire smugly says 'your turn'. The Nigerian says 'What is the name of the fish that is blue at night, yellow in the morning and red when cooked'. The American realises he is stumped. He rather irritated you gives the Nigerian $500. The Nigerian smiles and puts the money in his wallet. The millionaire then says 'well what is it then?". The Nigerian smiles, gives him $5 and says 'you will have to ask my wife, she does the cooking'.

Have a great Paddys day, I'm off to Nambucca to see The Pogue traders later!

No comments: