Nigel Farage is a Tik Tok sensation, not a politician

 I have to admit that I spent yesterday laughing my head off. It started when I heard that Nigel Farage was making an "emergency announcement". Recalling that the last such emergency announcement that received such wall to wall media coverage was Boris announcing lockdown, I wondered whether Nige had contracted a contagous form of viral IBS and had infected everyone at The Reform Party conference. Then the news broke. Mr Farage, a bloke who'd stood for Parliament seven times and failed miserably every time was standing as a candidate in Clacton. In terms of politics, the concept that a fringe figure should attract so much publicity for such an unimportant announcement is quite amazing. I must admit I have nothing but admiration for the self promotional capabilities of Nigel Farage. What is he famous for? Here's a short list

1. He likes to drink beer. 

2. He's got a French name

3. He's got a German wife

4. He thinks Donald Trump is Ace

5. He survived a plane crash

6. He has 1.8 million followers on Twitter (X)

7. He's had over 10 million likes on TikTok despite following no one

You may say "Why haven't you listed his political achievements?". Well apart from being elected under PR to the European Parliament, he hasn't got any. As far as I can tell he isn't a politician, he's simply a very good single issue campaigner. His chosen subject? BREXIT. We all assumed that when Brexit was done, he'd go away. Sadly for us, Nige loves being in the spotlight, so he has a new ruse. Brexit has been betrayed. It seems that Nige thinks the reason that the UK is swamped with migrants from non EU nations is because the Tories betrayed Brexit. He doesn't seem to have twigged that the £4.7 billion we had to divert from preventing drugs and illegal immigrants entering the UK has had to be diverted into checking perfectly legal tourists, businessmen and goods crossing our borders. Nige clearly believed the pledge from Boris that when we left the EU, we'd have £365 million a week to spend on the NHS when we left. We were promised it and he's right we were betrayed, but sadly this was mostly because everything he said was simply made up nonsense to win a few votes.

There is a myth that "it was Nige that won it for Brexit". The sad truth is that it wasn't. It was David Cameron and his side kick Gideon Osborne (AKA George) who completely cocked the whole thing up. They called a referendum, believing it would end squabbles in the Tory party, without ever thinking how they might win the argument. Their campaign was nearly as dishonest as the #VoteLeave campaign, when it really didn't need to be. One talent Nige has is that he is brilliant at claiming any sorts of success he can and pretending all of his failures have nothing to do with him.

Serious politicians have policies for all areas of the challenges facing the UK. Schools, Health, Transport, Policing, Defence and the Economy. What is Nige saying "Ban all immigrants", He is like an old vinyl 7" single, stuck on the first groove. Schools need fixing "Ban all immigrants and there will be plenty of places for our kids", The NHS needs fixing "Ban all immigrants, there will be plenty of beds for us", Transport is in a mess "Ban all immigrants, there will be less cars on the roads", The Police are overstretched "Ban all immigrants, there will be no crime", The Army is a mess "Ban all immigrants and, erm, well it will be cushdy boo", The Economy "Ban all immigrants and there will be more money for the rest of us". Of course he does have a couple of other policies. He doesn't like transgender people and he likes smoking ciggies when he's having a pint. 

The fella is not serious. In truth, he's a wonderful construct, a Tiktok sensation with ten million likes. If you want to see how to be a great self publicist, he is second to none. I suspect he may even finally win a seat in Clacton, it is the perfect place for an end of pier act, at a washed up seaside town that has seen better days. Like all such characters, if he does win, he won't actually bother turning up too often at the House of Commons (except when the telly cameras are in town for a big story) or doing much work. He'll probably sit with his mate from the Brexit trail George Galloway, preening for the cameras. 

Now you might think I am fed up with him standing, quite the opposite. As a blogger, he's golddust. The campaign was threatening to be the most boring ever with Starmer Vs Sunak, the deadly duo. Having a top TikTok superstar to distract us from the real issues can only be a good thing, bringing some relief and gaeity to the campaign. Although I don't agree with anything he says, he will smoke out the true Rishi Sunak. Will Sunak lurch to the right to shore up his vote or will he reveal his inner Liberal and try and appeal to the good sense of the soft right? I think it's quite likely that Farage will spark a mini civil war in the Tories, with a fight for the heart of the party. If the hard right win, then their path will mirror Labour's in the Corbyn years. Lots of excited activists and abject failure at the polls. If the softies win, maybe they will manage to pull things together to at least act like an opposition. 

Whatever happens, Farage will spend the post election period in the USA, massaging the ego of his mate Donald Trump. Don't expect to see too much of him around, whether he wins or loses.