The Friday Joke 5/9/2013

I was Traveling along the motorway and  needing to use the toilet,
I stopped at a service area and  headed to the toilet.

"Hi, how are  you?"
I'm not the type to start a  conversation in the toilet and I don't know what got into me,
But I answered, somewhat  embarrassed, 
 "Doin' just fine!"

And the other  person says:  
"So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking  this is too bizarre so I say:  
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just travelling!" ??

At this point I am just trying to get out  as fast as I can when I hear another question.
 "Can I come over?"

Ok, this  question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and  end the conversation. So I say  
"No...I'm a little busy right  now!!!"   

Then I hear the  person say nervously...  

"Listen, I'll  have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other cubicle who keeps  answering all my questions

Dyslexia Blog - exploding the myths

For those of you who haven't read my dyslexia blogs before, here is a little preamble and introduction, so you know who I am and what I do and why I write this stuff. For those of you who know the story, skip to the end of the paragraph for todays installment. Let me give you a bit of Background so you know who I am and what I do. I was born in 1962. I didn't start talking until I was 4 years old (at all, not a single word). My parents thought I was deaf. My reading age at eleven was 5. When I was fifteen I started a rock and roll band called the False Dots, the band is still going strong. When I was 16 I started a business called Mill Hill Music Complex (although then it was simply called the studio), a rehearsal studio, as we had nowhere to rehearse. The business has grown into a very successful enterprise, one of Londons biggest and most well respected independent studios. We now have 16 studios and a music shop and also have a photography/video studio and a dance studio. I also have done IT work, mostly on a freelance basis since 1983. In 2012 I also moved into film production, producing two highly acclaimed documentary films, both of which had screenings at the House of Commons. When I was 31, a friend suggested I had a dyslexia test. To my surprise I was told I was moderately dyslexic. This made me interested in the subject. To my amazement, what I have learned over the years is that my lack of educational aptitude, my feelings of anger and injustice and the core of my personality have been formed by the fact I cannot read words in a linear fashion.

I was asked the following question on Twitter a couple of days ago :-

@Barneteye Do you think that #Dyslexia can be an advantage?

 This is perhaps the most irritating thing that a dyslexic can be asked. Dyslexia is a disability that causes emotional pain, limits career opportunities, hampers educational performance and makes on the victim of bullying. Would you ask someone who lost a leg if this was an advantage? Sure they can compete in the paralympics, but is this an advantage? Having reached the age of 51, I am quite comfortable with my dyslexia but it has been a massive struggle.

Last year I rang up Jeni Barnet on BBC London 94.9 radio after she made a highly patronising comment about "dyslexics having special abilities". I was livid. Is not being able to read properly a special talent? Is not being able to put your thoughts into writing in a coherent manner a special talent? Is having to work three times as hard as your peers, just to achieve a vaguely comparable result a talent?

I have no doubt whatsoever that all the S**T I've had to endure since the day I emerged into the daylight has helped build an unusual degree of belligerence and hard headedness that I wouldn't have needed had I had a fully functional brain, but I really wish I didn't have the feelings of anger and resentment welling inside me. I doubt I would be such a committed, dogged blogger, if I had a fully functional brain and for this I thank the Lord, but the need to blog is only driven by a complete rejection of injustice. If In hadn't been on the end of it, I probably wouldn't be that bothered. From where I sit, I often think blissfull ignorance would be more pleasant than the anger fuelled rage that drives many of these blogs.

In the early days of my blogging, I used to be really self conscious about my appalling grammar and my misuse if the English Language. Now I have realised that there are more important things to worry about. One of my readers commented that they find my blog more readable than some of the others. That is because I am too ignorant to understand, remember or use many of the "big words" my peers use. My brother is classically trained, speaks Latin, French and Dutch fluently. I can hardly manage English. He will throw in the odd classical insult at people if they raise his ire. He will imply they are a tussificator if they irritate him. I just call them a twat.

The only advantage that dyslexia can bestow on us is for those that get through it have learned how to cope with unfairness and discrimination. Sadly many people don't. When you work hard for no reward and your efforts go unappreciated it is easy to become withdrawn and depressed. I am in general a positive person, but in my early teens I was a mess. If it hadn't been for the discovery of punk rock music and the associated subculture, I hate to think where I may have ended up. As it was, the music gave me a focus and the nihilism of the late 1970 punk outlook perfectly fitted with my lack of self esteem. When I found other people had such feelings of alienation and rejection, I felt less alone. I was lucky. I guess many people never find their place. As I grew up and matured, things became easier. Being in a band gave me self confidence. That was what made me able to cope.

So lets bury the myth of the "dyslexic advantage". Lets acknowledge that dyslexia is a multi headed monster and before people can deal with their dyslexia they need to deal with their self esteem. This isn't improved by people telling lies about "dyslexics being special". It can be improved by making dyslexics aware that they are not alone, they can be successful and they can achieve great things with hard work.  Most importantly we need to ensure that dyslexics are given the help and support they need to avoid depression and low self esteem. This starts at home. I am the youngest of six children. My mother used to refer to me as "the thick one". My teachers used to call me a "dunce", my former headmaster told me I would never get a girlfriend because I was too stupid, in front of a class of 40 people. My careers advisor at school told me I should consider working as a parkkeeper and be realistic about my prospects. I didn't even know I was dyslexic until long after I left school. They never bothered to see why I was disruptive and had poor educational performance. Ask any of them if I had any advantages. I have done Ok with my life and my career. I was lucky in having some teachers who believed in me. My parents supported my musical career (probably because they hadn't a clue what else to do with me), I changed school and found a headmaster who did support me. The new school nurtured my interest in music. Needless to say my Headmaster was rather wrong in his prediction about never having a girlfriend. I have been blessed in that department, having perhaps had far greater luck than I really deserve. I am married with three great children, none of whom are dyslexic and all of whom are very bright.

I mention this because none of the "advantages" I have are down to dyslexia. They are down to being able to cope with dyslexia. If you are dyslexic or you know a dyslexic, are you/they coping. If the answer is no, then see what you can do to address the situation. Coping is the secret. Lets deal with the issues, not the myths and fantasies.

Friern Barnet Library - Occupied and Open - The anniversary celebration and book launch

The day Councillor Robert Rams closed Friern Barnet Library

Since I started writing blogs, there are a few things I am proud of. One of the things I am proudest of is my involvement with the campaign to save Barnets libraries and in particular my part in reopening Friern Barnet library. For those of you who are new to the story, the Barnet Eye launched the "Save Barnets Libraries" Campaign in August 2010, in response to the launch of the "Strategic Libraries Review" by right wing nutcase couuncillor Robert Rams, who announced at the time that people could get books from Tescos and read them in Starbucks. We collected 7,000 signatures in short order and managed to put enough pressure on the council to ensure they backed away from the threatened slash and burn attack on this vital public service. Sadly Councillor Robert Rams needed a sacrificial lamb to the gods of right wing lunacy, and so Friern Barnet Library was deemed "expendible". In a decision so crass and ill thought out that even the normally moribund Tory backbenchers started to awake from their slumbers, it was announced that there would be a landmark library at the Arts Depot in Finchley, to replace the much loved community resource at Friern. Sadly Rams hadn't bothered to see if this was workable or practical. He didn't consult the local community and in April 2012, at despicably short notice, the Library was shut.

The Barnet Eye could not stand by. We announced that we would be opening the Peoples library on the village green, next to the Library on the Saturday (this was on the Thursday). We said we'd be bringing down books and asked anyone else with spare books to come along. When I made this rash announcement, I was worried that I would be on my own, with my pasting table. There was neither time to organise or people onboard. What happened next was magical. Saturday came and over 500 people turned up. Some broughT gazebo's some bought books, the Royal British Legion brought hot teas and locals baked cakes. It was a glorious day and the impromptu carnival was a roaring success. We acquired a stock of several hundred books. I was stunned at this response. It was agreed that the Friern Barnet Peoples Library should be run by the Save Friern Barnet campaign. It was held weekly for four weeks, then monthly throughout the summer.

It became a focal point for the campaign and allowed momentum to be built up. Perhaps the greatest achievement of the campaign was that we built up a decent stock of books. This was to prove key in what happened next. The Peoples library caught the imagination. The BBC One Show came down. They asked me to visit a community library in Oxfordshire, as the founder of the Peoples Library. I declined to go and suggested that a member of the Save Friern Barnet Library campaign went. I did this because I did not want the story to be about Roger Tichborne or the Barnet Eye. Martin Russo from the campaign did the visit, although I gave a brief interview to the show.

On 5th September 2012, I got a call. We were in the final throes of filming Barnet - The Billion Pound Gamble. Squatters had taken over the library. I shot up there with Charles Honderick and found a couple of people peering out of the window. They didn't have much to say. We spoke to the Barnet Security guards who announced that there were squatters in the building and they had disabled the alarm. We ascetained that the the squatters were associated with the Occupy movement and they were interested in reopening the library. There wasn't much else to the story, so it seemed. The following day, the story had changed. It appeared that there was a spokesman from Occupy on site. Immediately I made my way back. This was the first time I met Pete Phoenix. He'd never heard of the Barnet Eye or the Peoples Library. We immediately hit it off. I knew what needed to be done. We had a stock of books and a campaign. We needed to get the library open with the Peoples library stock of books. As I was not part of the campaign, I had no say as to whether this could be done. Some members of the campaign were initially reticent, but this was soon overcome. The Library had a 1,000 books to start with. In a remarkably short time, the whole thing came together. The library opened its doors and the community and occupiers hit the national press.

Then an even more remarkable thing happened. Barnet Council made contact with the Occupiers and a series of meetings were held, to see if there was a way forward. I attended these meetings in good faith, as did members of the community and the occupiers. It seemed that a compromise could be found. After a series of cordial and productive meetings, things seemed to be moving. Then out of the blue, Barnet Council, in an act of extreme bad faith, launched legal proceedings to evict the occupiers. The community was stunned. It was a huge breach of trust. It was clearly a political decision, but a very stupid one.

A date for the court case was set. The council asked for a ten minute hearing. They assumed that a simple eviction order would be granted. I turned up at the Court, with about 50 other local activists. The legal representative from Barnet Council was clearly out of his depth. The case was immediately adjourned. A new date was set. Barnet Council agreed that half an hour would be long enough. Different day, same result. Eventually it was conceded by Barnet Council that a full two day hearing was needed and that this was not simply repossession of a building which was being squatted.

The case itself was a real roller coaster ride. The Judge clearly had sympathy with the community. It was clear to all that the Council had behaved atrociously. It became clear that the Council had "got it wrong". The judge, wisely brokered a compromise. The Council could have its possession order, but the community had been given an opportunity to formalise the "community library". The Council agreed to negotiate a license with a "board of trustees". It was agreed that the Occupiers would vacate the building and the community would take over.

At this time of the Jewish new year, I am reminded of the biblical story of Abraham making to sacrifice his beloved son to the Lord, when at the last moment, the Lord spared him. Friern Barnet Library was the sacrificial lamb to the gods of right wing luncacy. The Judge spared the community from this loss, in a wise and sensible judgement.

The community now run the library and the council are working on a proper arrangement. I have stepped back. Friern Barnet is the other side of the Borough from my manor. I support the Library in whatever way I can, but it should just be one of a number of public assets. There are many community heroes on this story. The library would not be open without Occupy, so they should take the lead at the curtain call. The Barnet bloggers did what we could, Save Friern Barnet Library campaign were pivotal and then all manner of individuals. Perhaps most notable amongst these was Keith Martin, a local pensioner, who attached his name to the Court case, at great financial risk, to show that the case was not Barnet Council vs a bunch of troublemakers from outside the Borough (as the Council were trying to make out).

Last night, we saw a launch party for a book edited by Rosie Canning (one of the many local campaigners who participated in the campaign) at the Library. Rosie has taken a whole host of accounts of the library and edited them into a coherent story. On the anniversary of the occupation, there were a number of readings from various people associated with the campaign.

The party was a joyous event. I haven't been back to the Library since the handover to the trustees.  I thought the most important thing was for the Library to be for the local community. Last night, it was clear to me that we have achieved something rather special. The library was packed with people from all creeds and colours, old and young, to celebrate a joyous victory for the forces of reason over the dark forces controlled by the bean counters who know the price of everything and the value of nothing.

Don't let anyone ever tell you that "protest is pointless". When I announced that we'd be holding the Friern Barnet Peoples library, a certain Barnet Councillor reportedly commented that "it will be the same old bunch of disaffected left wing types, congratulating each other at managing to get twenty people to stand on the lawn outside the library".  When this was reported to me, I simply said "lets see where we are in a years time before we make any rash comments". That was April 2012. That Councillor lost his GLA seat, assaulted a local businesswoman and was kicked out of the Conservative Party. In the meantime, the Library has repopened and is going from strength to strength. Checkout this video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmw6e6DrwpA&feature=youtu.be

When I started writing this blog, I started to make a list of all of the people I thought should receive a mention. I realised that there were dozens, half of whom I don't even know the name of. Each one had a vital role. A community works because it is a community, so I just wish to express my pride in everyone involved and my hope that we stay united as a community.

Rog T's Cancer blog - "Sodomy does not make you happy!"

For those of you who are regular readers and have read the previous posts on Cancer, you can skip this first paragraph.This is the latest installment in my occasional series about how I'm adjusting to living with a big C in my life.  For those of you who aren't, here's a quick summary. I'm 51 years old and in October 2011 I  had a prostate biopsy following two "slightly high" PSA tests - 2.8 & 4.1. The biopsy took ten tissue samples and one of these showed a "low grade cancer" which gives me a 3+3 on the Gleason scale. I'm now on a program of active monitoring.  In early February, I got the results of the a PSA test - down to 3.5 and an MRI scan which found absolutely nothing, two more tests in 2012 were at 3.5 and 3.9. My latest PSA test in August was not quite so promising,  back up to 4.0, in other words the downward trend has stopped. I've no symptoms and sadly for a few people, if I'm gonna die soon, it won't be from Prostate cancer. Got the picture? 
 
Well if that title did not catch your eye, I don't know what will. What has sodomy and happiness got to do with cancer? Well nothing really, except that today I bumped into an old friend whilst going for a pre surgery screening check. Sadly he is far further down the journey than I am. His life is one of "pain control". I haven't seen him for years, we lost touch many moons ago. I was shocked to see him, didn't really recognise him until he spoke. It turns out he's an avid reader of my blog. He is facing his demise with pragmatism and humour. As an out gay athiest, I was intrigued to hear his views on his forthcoming demise. He had followed the recent blogs on athiesm with interest. I was surprised to find that he's modified his views on the afterlife.

He tells me that he had a rather odd spiritual experience. He explained that the rational part of his brain puts it down to the morphine, but what happened was unlike anything he's had before or since. He said that he had a vision that he took to be Jesus. The image told him that he didn't need to worry because it will all be alright. He also said, "you don't need to worry about priests, athiests or any of them, they've all got it wrong. You just need to have love in your life". He explained that after this reveleation, he has no fear. He has set about repairing relationships that he'd let fall away and tried to make amends where he'd done wrong. I asked if he'd become religious. He said "No, that wasn't what it was about, it was about being me".

I then reminded him of an event many years ago where he attended an evangelical rally. There was a US style preacher on a barnstorming tour of the UK. He'd snuck in out of curiosity just to see a snakeoil salesman in action. He managed to secure a seat near the front. Half way into the show, the preacher exclaimed "There is only one thing that can make man happy, can you tell me what it is". My friend stood up and yelled at the top of his voice "Sodomy!". The preacher was visibly taken aback. He responded "No, sir, Sodomy is a sin, it can never make man happy". My friend retorted "Have you actually tried it?". The Preacher again taken aback replied "No sir, I don't need to try it to know it is a sin and that it cannot make you happy". To which my friend replied "If you haven't tried it, then you don't know. You are simply guessing and making things up". At this, my friend was ejected by a couple of burly security guards.

I asked if he was going to make it up to the preacher? He burst out laughing and said "trust you to remember that!". He then told me that he couldn't remember "the last time I got it up". He said that the drugs had destroyed his sex drive. He explained that something which was central to his being had disappeared from his life. I asked how he felt about this. His answer was again surprising "I am just determined to get as much from every day as I can.". He explained that he's rediscovered painting and poetry. He made an interesting observation "I wish I'd given more thought to the things which were actually important, before I couldn't really do too much about it". He then asked what had made me decide to write publicly about my condition. I explained that the purpose was to encourage people to look out for the signs, get tested and not leave things until it is too late.

Anyway, all to quickly my friend departed as his appointment time was looming. I then went for all the checks needed to assess my fitness for procedure. Blood pressure 120/80 - good. My pulse rate 59 - OK
my Oxygen level 96% OK. My ECG scan was perfect. The ECG man even commented that this was exactly the shape that you'd want. The healthy lifestyle clearly is making my heart happy. I then got a leaflet about the procedure and all the lovely side effects of a prostate biopsy. Blood in stools/Urine for 7 days and semen for 4/5 weeks. No alcohol for 24 hours after the anaesthetic. Last time I had the biopsy under a local anaesthetic, this time I elected for a general as it was truly horrible. Not particularly painful, but disturbingly degrading. The nurse noted that I'd elected for a general. She said "wise move, it is unpleasant". At this, for some strange reason, my mind jumped back to my friends encounter with the snake oil preacher. I sniggered in a rather schoolboy manner. The nurse gave me a puzzled look. Then she said "You have received a confirmation of the date? September 13th?" I replied "what day of the week is that?" She responded "Friday". I replied "A prostate biopsy on Friday the 13th, doesn't sound good, does it". She said "You don't believe that superstitious nonsense do you?". Well actually I do. I just felt too foolish to say. Then we discussed anti biotic cover. I said "Do I start them before the procedure". She wasn't sure and so checked. The answer was yes. Always check everything. If you are unsure, mention it and get an answer you are happy with.

After a 40 minute wait for my prescription, I made my way home. As it is Jewish new year, the roads around Barnet are dead. I couldn't help thinking about my friends vision. If the priests and the atheiests are all wrong, who is right? Will it all really be OK. Is my biopsy on the 13th a deadly omen or is it all superstitious nonsense? All I know is that whenever such events are looming, I feel mightily apprehensive. The one thing I have gleaned from seeing my friend, is yet again there were warning signs for a long time prior to the diagnosis. Yet again they were ignored. In his case, it is lung cancer. He confided that he'd always assumed that AIDS would get him and so he'd been rather careful and taken precautions. It had never occurred to him that the 30 cigarettes a day were secretly working away and mutating his cells, hence his current predicament. It's always the one you don't see coming that gets you.

Friern Barnet Library - Occupied and Open - Book launch

Friern Barnet Library - Occupied and Opened - edited by Rosie Canning. Anniversary of the occupation of the library and preview of book Thursday 5th September 2013,7pm in the library, Friern Barnet Road London N11 3DS. All welcome

Telling the story of how Robert Rams and Barnet Council closed Friern Barnet Library, the local community protested, the Occupy movement repoened the library and how Robert Rams and Barnet Council caved in to the pressure.

The book is edited by Rosie Canning and features extracts from the Barnet Eye blog. We are hoping that Councillor Robert Rams will come along to apologise for his horrendous error of judgement in closing the library and thank the Occupy Movement for helping him see sense.

Football Special - The Transfer window slams shut

I don't know what is wrong with me this year. I am really not that excited about the new football season. Am I starting to fall out of love with the game. Sure I've watched as many as I could, but for some reason, I just cannot seem to find much enthusiasm at the moment. As a Manchester City FC fan, I am still feeling upset about the departure of Roberto Mancini. He may not have been perfect, but he was a very "Manchester City" man. How on earth could anyone be pleased to see the departure of a man who delivered the first trophy since 1976 and the first League Championship since 1968?

We now have Manuel Pelligrini on the touchline. It is true to say that I haven't warmed to him yet. Maybe the defeat to Cardiff City on the second game of the season didn't help. Anyway, enough of my moaning about MCFC, what about the transfer window. Perhaps this sums up my current feelings about football. Gareth Bale goes to Real Madrid for £85 million. The total dealings are over £600 million. Pardon me, but I thought Spain was in economic crisis? We have papers full of talk of immigrants, calling the spongers, but a whole bevvy of second rate, overrated imports have turned up on massively inflated salaries. At the same time we see ever fewer English born players in the Premier League and an ever shrinking pool of players for the England team. Young players are left on the periphery as managers splash the cash to seek a quick fix.

Whilst these over payed imports turn up, grassroots football is struggling. Sunday League clubs fold, youth teams scratch around for pitches to play on as cities build flats on them all. If you want to see truly aweful behaviour watch the parents at any Under 13 football match in the higher leagues.

It doesn't surprise me to see such bad behaviour, when we have players like Suarez biting and racially abusing his fellow professionals. Then there is the price of watching football. How many working class people can afford a season ticket for them and their children. I know of two Arsenal season ticket holders who did not renew their tickets this season.

And what about the key moves and non moves of the window. Manchester City conducted their business with strange calm and professionalism, identifying most of their targets early and completing the business in time. Chelsea have seemed more intent on using the window to wind up rivals than actually buying anyone. United have behaved in a most bizarre fashion, betraying a huge lack of class with the dealings with Everton. I don't personally see Fellani as a Manchester United quality player, although Moyes clearly has a different view of how to win the Champions League to Alex Ferguson. This has ultimately cost them big time. Moyes missed out on one target and payed over the odds for the other. Arsenal have missed on all of their original targets, finally pulling a rabbit out of the hat on the last hour of the window. Ozil is a great player. Is he the answer to Arsenals woes, I suspect if this was the case, maybe he'd have arrived earlier. I suspect that maybe his signing was delayed by the Bale transfer. And as for Spurs, they have done well. They may have lost Bale, but they have recruited well. I believe the biggest winners were Everton, with some excellent deals and some cash in the bank. Liverpool have been quiet. Is it any coincidence that they are top of the league at the moment.

Last season the team who bought the most players was QPR and they were relegated. I don't believe it is wise to buy more than 3-4 players at any one time, unless you have to. By the time the team gells, you can be too far behind to catch up. Most Top teams have traditionally bought one or two players in the close season to strengthen, replacing players past their sell by dates. All we seem to have now is a merry go round, where the agents are the big winners.

Is this the season where football will lose its appeal? I actually doubt it. I suspect that when City play United, I will still feel the same, if City win 6-1 again, I will have my faith restored. Who knows. I do know that whatever happens, I believe the finances of football to be unsustainable. For me the golden era will always be between 1965 and 1982. Sure I am an old fart, but Nottingham Forest came up, won the League and then won the European Cup, England won the World Cup. I found an old program from a match between QPR and Manchester City. Every single player on both teams was someone I recalled with affection. We had characters like Stan Bowles, Rodney Marsh and Tony Currie adding flair. We had the hardmen such as "Chopper Harris" in defence. We had mercurial players such as Colin Bell and Peter Barnes, who could in a moment change a game with their brilliance. In 1982, we even had Watford FC get promoted and finish as runners up.

You paid next to nothing to watch the game. The "facilities" were rubbish, but you went to watch a game of football. I can remember when Manchester City bought Steve Mackenzie. I thought the fee was completely bonkers. Little did I know what we would see in the modern game. Had someone told me as I watched City Play QPR back in 1977 that they would be owned by rich Arabs, play in a new stadium owned by the Council, spend £88 million in the close season, and only have one English player regularly in the team, I'd think you were completely mad. It is sad to say I have become a grumpy old man !

Profumo The Musical - The Review

So those of you who follow the blog regularly will have read the story of how I was cast as Ronnie Kray in Profumo The Musical at the Waterloo East Theatre. You will also have read about how the Director sacked me after a week of rehearsals as "my song and dance routines were not strong enough". It's true to say that having thrown my heart and soul into the role, I was gutted. The show was staged between last Weds & Saturday. The questions for me were this, was the director right or did I dodge a bullet?

I had suggested Big Mo,  a friend, for the Reggie Kray role. He also got the boot a week in. Having seen the show take shape, we had a night out on Friday to see how the production had faired after our departure. To my surprise, the Director Matthew Lloyd-Davies had taken the role of Reggie Kray. Wheras big Mo is 6'1, Matthew is significantly shorter, so I was wondering how he'd get on as one of Great Britains most notorious gangsters. As the first number opened up, "You've never had it so good" it was clear that as director he'd changed the role and direction of the Krays. The direction we'd received was to stand together as the Krays and look mean. We'd worked hard on the chemistry and the interaction. We'd also gone for as dark and threatening portrayal as we could. The new boys in town had clearly gone in a rather different direction.

One of the appeals for me of the play was the strong music. The first number was an ensemble. It is a good number that sets the scene of the early 1960's. It opens with young black actors Paul Stephenson and Johnny Edgecombe parodying the BBC of the day. This was an inspired piece of direction by Matthew Lloyd Davies. The play starts with Christine Keeler and Mandy Rice Davies running away from home and meeting up with Stephen Ward. Rachal Olivant and Charlie Olivia make a convincing Keeler and Rice Davies. Michael Howe gets the Stephen Ward character just about right, combining the upper class society medical professional, with the seedy underbelly on early 1960's London. David Pendlebury makes a great Profumo and a rather good, seedy slum Landlord Peter Rachman. Songs such as Movie Queen and Bloodsicker Baby capture the aspirations of the girls and the way their dreams are exploited by the men who see them as chattels.

Then we had the grand entrance of the Krays. My gut feeling was that Lloyd-Davies original direction for myself and Mo for the Krays was sound. I was worried that the "lightening" of the role would not work. After all the Krays were not noted for their song and dance routine. The big number for them was "We'll do You" which we delivered with an air of intimidation and menace. The new team went for comedy slapstick. Of course I am a bit biased but I thought it was a wrong turn.  Sadly this was also picked up by the reviewer from the Independent.

"Contrast this with the mirth-free presentation of Harold Wilson and Barbara Castle as a pair of northern music-hall clowns (“So put the kettle on and we'll have a cup of tea/Soon the working classes will be free”) who here gingerly recruit a jokey, sanitised version of the Kray twins to help them flush out the scandal. "

Sadly I felt this detracted from the whole show, as it lost much of the light and dark we'd seen in the early walk through. I don't think anyone who actually saw myself and Mo as the Krays would describe us as jokey or sanitised. I was reminded of a Boyzone cover of Fairytale of New York by the presentation. Having said that, Matthew and James McGregor did have better dance moves than myself or Mo, if that was what the Director was looking for.

Darrie Gardner gave a good account of herself in the role of Valerie Profumo, delivering the ballad "Don't tell me me" with panache. The final scene of the first act was, for me, the highlight of the show. This was the fight scene between gangsters Lucky Gordon and Johnny Edgecombe. Paul Stephenson particularly gave an awesome performance. I was disappointed that the other reviews have not highlighted this.

The second half of the show begins with Order in the House. This is the scene where Profumo tells a porkie to get himself off the hook. The plot progresses and another highlight was "Put the kettle on" where Harold Wilson (Michael Howe) and Barbara Castle (Darrie Gardner) discuss the collapse of the old Tory order.

The show finale sends us all home having a good night out. After the final curtian, myself and Mo went for a beer with some of the cast and crew. The show had a very compressed production cycle and the some of the cast felt that this didn't give them the chance to do Gordon Kenney's words and music justice. In places the pace was uneven and this was not helped by the fact that the stage, which was integral to the action had to be abandoned due to technical problems.

I thought overall the show was a good watch and a decent night out. It would benefit hugely from a full West End production, where justice could be done for the songs. I also feel that a little work at the end, tying up the loose ends would have not gone amiss. The reviews have been mixed, the Independent was extremely harsh (no undue influence from Mr Lloyd-Webber one assumes).

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/theatre-dance/reviews/theatre-review-profumo-the-musical--this-crass-production-should-leave-andrew-lloyd-webber-with-nothing-to-fear-8794499.html

I will break the habit of a lifetime and go and see the Andrew Lloyd-Webber production "Stephen Ward" which is coming out later in the year out of curiosity. If he's looking for a couple of Kray brothers, he has the number !

Matthew Offord MP reselected by the Conservatives in Hendon

Many congratulations to Matthew Offord MP on his reselection as MP for Hendon. As the constituencies leading political blogger, I can honestly say Matthew has been a delight to work with. He has brough the people of Hendon endless minutes of fun with his "interesting" views on human rights for dogs, serving up soup to David Cameron, his "late night" encounter with the Tory chief whip, his efforts to wind his old boss Mike Freer MP up about Gay marriage and all of the other things he's done in the last three years which for some reason a have completely slipped my mind.

When he was Deputy Leader of Barnet Council, the Barnet Eye christened Matthew "Captain Useless". We have to concede that he has totally exceeded our expectations in this department. He is no Captain Useless, he is a Field Marshall ! I actually quite like Matthew and hope he really enjoys the next year and a half at Parliament. I would advise him to put his feet up, chill out and relax, but he needs no lecture from me on that matter.

The good council test - Rate your council

The Barnet Eye has devised a simple test to ascertain whether your council is open, transparent and run for the good of the people who live in the Borough.

Please Answer the ten questions and then look at the scoring system below.

1 - Does your council consult people affected by major changes to council policy?
a - Always
b - For major decisions only
c - When it suits them
e - As little as legally possible

2 - Does your council consider the effect on local jobs and the local economy when taking major spending? decisions.
a - Always
b - Most of the time
c - When it suits them
e - As little as legally possible

3 - Does your council consider the effect on people with disability and learning difficulties when taking major spending decisions?
a - Always
b - Most of the time
c - When it suits them
e - As little as legally possible

4 - Does your council consider the effect on the environment when taking major spending decisions?
a - Always
b - Most of the time
c - When it suits them
e - As little as legally possible

5 - Does your council consider encourage people to participate in local democracy and use the wealth of talent in the Borough to improve the function of the council?
a - Always
b - Most of the time
c - When it suits them
e - As little as legally possible

6 - Does your council take action to ensure that councillors and senior council executives behave appropriately towards members of the public. Does it have a credible policy of standards of behaviour?
a - Yes
b - In most instances but it is open to improvement
c - There is a policy but it is generally ineffective
e - What policy there is is completely discredited

7 - Has any council policy been deemed illegal by the High Court since the last Council election?
a - It has not been to court over a policy
b - No, there have been cases, but the council won
c -  No, but cases are going through the courts
e - Yes

8 - Has your council featured in local/National press for engaging contractors who have not been CRB checked or have no proper licensing to care for vulnerable people?
a - No
b - No, but there have been major issues with suppliers
c - No, but there have been minor issues with suppliers
e - Yes, it has been involved in a major scandal involving care of vulnerable people

9 - Would you expect your council to take action against a councillor making racist or sexist comments in a public meeting.
a - Always
b - Most of the time
c - When it suits them
e - No

10 - Would you expect your council to re-award a contract to a contractor who it was suing for breaching its duty of care to vulnerable people?
a -No
b - In extreme circumstances
c - Yes but only if they were cheap
d - Yes, full stop.

The marking system is very simple. For every answer a, award three points. For every Answer b, awaard two points, for every answer c, award one point. For every answer d, award no points. If you answered E to any queston, please CLICK THIS LINK for somewhere uniquely suitable for your talents.

Scores

31-40  - Congratulations, you should get a job in the Barnet Council One Barnet Audit team (30 is the maximum possible score) making projections for savings the project will make

21-30  - Congratulations, you live in a well run council, which puts people at the heart of decision making.

11-30 - You live in an area where there is room for a bit of improvement locally. Email your councillor with a link to this blog and your scores and ask him if he's concerned that his organisation didn't do that well.

1-10 - Your council is dangerously out of touch. Email your councillor with a link to this blog and your scores and ask him if he's concerned that his organisation were pretty appalling. I'd suggest you email him your reasons for your mark.

0 - You probably live in Barnet and have been reading the Barnet Eye. Sadly Barnet Council got the worst possible score on every answer.  I find it pretty shameful, but I daresay that members of the administration would totally disagree.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I thought it may be interesting to email this quiz to all of our local councillors. I will be very interested to see if any have the guts to respond.

In Barnet, nobody can year you scream !

You can scream as loud as you like. You can bang your fists on the wall, smash your head on the stairs, cry your eyes out. If there is no one there, then nobody will care. One of my children asked me several years ago, when they were just out of nappies, what monster scared me the most. I said I would show them. I picked her up and said "don't open your eyes until I tell you, and you will see the most scary monster in the universe". I then picked her up and put her in front of a mirror and said "You can look now". She saw her own face and roared with laughter. Sadly, being three years old, she missed the point. In horror films such as Alien and Predator, the most evil monsters are grotesque aliens. In reality, ordinary people such as you and I are often far more evil.

Take the example of the most evil regime in modern times. Adolf Hitler and the NAZI's. It was ordinary people who enabled the NAZI party to take power. It was ordinary people who operated the trains which took Jews to concentration camps. It was ordinary people who made the munitions and sent their children off to the Hitler youth. Apologists say "well what would you have done, had you been living under the NAZI regime?" The honest answer is that I haven't a clue. I know what I wish I'd do in such a situation, but do I?

Of course, in Great Britain in 2013, we don't have a fascist dictatorship do we? We have elections, we have rule of law. I mean, Hitler never won an election, did he? Nope, he simply fronted a coalition. Hitler bent the legal system to his will. We would never see Great Britain embark on an illegal war would we? When the NAZI's took power, legislation was passed allowing "terrorists" to be locked up without due recourse to legal processes. In Great Britain, such things could never happen.

Who were the first victims of state sponsored murder in NAZI Germany? In actual fact it was the disabled. People who were deemed of no economic value. The NAZI party got away with it, because they convinced "decent" German citizens that the disabled and handicapped were a drain on the resources of the state and that the state "simply couldn't afford" to carry them. I pray to God that the UK would never go down such a route, but if you look, you will see signs everywhere that people who have special needs are being targeted by the central and local government to bear the burden of the economic mess inflicted on us by greedy and incompetent bankers. We are told that we can't afford decent services. In Barnet we have an organisation called "Your Choice Barnet" which is actively seeking to replace carers with experience and personal knowledge of their clients, with "race to the bottom" cheap labour. Personal needs of the elderly, the handicapped and the disabled are ignored because "we simply can't afford it anymore". Oddly enough we can afford a tax cut for the extremely rich.

I have heard terrible cases of disabled people, with unskilled carers, paid for with our taxes, who have simply ignored the clients to watch TV and play on mobile phones. Screams, tears and requests for help to the toilet have been ignored. This is at the mild end of the shameful stories I've heard. Some stories have been truly horrific. The common factor in many of these is that the staff involved have not been properly trained and are not aware of individual client needs. I have worked for many years with a charity which takes disabled people abroad. I have had experience of people, where care homes have lied on the forms, leaving unpaid helpers like myself in an impossible position. The worst case was a young man, with Downes syndrome, who had a death wish. I suffered a permanent and severe injury to my back, preventing him from leaping into a river. The form gave no indication of his behavioural issues.

When the carers picked him up, I made a casual remark about his death wish. The carer said "Oh, didn't anyone tell you that he is always trying to harm himself?". I am shocked at the attitude of many people to people with disability. I have a much loved cousin with Downes Syndrome. I think the world of her. Sadly people have made the most vile comments to my face about her, thinking I would find them funny. I don't. I believe everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and those who can't defend themselves need those of us who can to fight their corner.

As far as I am concerned, anyone who tolerates the abuse or vilification of the disabled is no better than Adolf Hitler and his evil cohorts. After all, it was public tolerance of those views in Germany that allowed his "coalition" to come to power. I don't think the United Kingdom in any way resembles Germany under the Nazi's but I do think that we are closer than a lot of people realise to adopting some of their attitudes and that makes me feel very uneasy.