Thursday, 22 December 2011

Barnet Eye Awards 2011

It's the time of year where we dish out the Barnet Eye Awards. So without further ado, here we go.

2011 Award for services to small businesses - Councillor Brian Coleman. With his idiotic policies on Parking, he is doing his utmost to ensure that as many small shopkeepers in Barnet as possible will be spending more time with their families next year, when their businesses go broke.

2011 Barnet Council employee of the year - Parking Supremo John McArdle for the magnificent service he's delivered to certain councillors, looking after certain sections of the community and making sure that they could park without fear of a ticket - - we just hope that Mr McArdle rolls this exemplary service out to the rest of Barnet in the new year.

2011 Award for services to standards in politics  - Councillor Andreas Tambourides - not only has he sat on the Standards committee all year, he has also been found guilty by the same committee for insulting a fellow Tory councillor and circulating scurrillous rumours about her. Like a real man, he's totally refused to take his punishment (simply apologising and doing some training in how to behave) and has appealed the decision. What a man, what a fine example.

2011 Award for services to the blogging community - Nick Walkley. When Mr Walkley took over in Barnet, there were only two bloggers writing about Barnet. Thanks to his efforts running a shambollock council, there are now five! An increase of 150%. If only he was as good at cutting waste. Not only that but Mr Walkley has ensured national recognition for said bloggers, with fans including Eric Pickles, the minister responsible for local government.

2011 Award for strong leadership - This goes to Councillor Richard Cornelius. Richard took over in May and since then he has led from the front. Richard takes no nonsense at all from anyone. When challenged by residents to sort out the mess he's caused with parking, he replied "Erm, um, oh, erm, I really don't think I can do anything about that" - Sock it to 'em Dickie

2011 Awards for Openness and transparency - This goes to Councillor Robert Ramsbottom. Bobby printed a fine blog describing his commitment to openness and transparancy  strangely for a man committed to transparency, he doesn't put comments up on his site.

Isn't Barnet a wonderful place

1 comment:

baarnett said...

First Collector: At this festive time of year, Mr. Coleman, it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the poor and destitute.

Brian: Are there no prisons?

First Collector: Plenty of prisons.

Brian: And the union workhouses - are they still in operation?

First Collector: They are. I wish I could say they were not.

Brian: Oh, from what you said at first I was afraid that something had happened to stop them in their useful course. I'm very glad to hear it.

First Collector: I don't think you quite understand us, sir. A few of us are endeavoring to buy the poor some meat and drink, and means of warmth.

Brian: Why?

First Collector: Because it is at Christmastime that want is most keenly felt, and abundance rejoices. Now what can I put you down for?

Brian: Huh! Nothing!

Second Collector: You wish to be anonymous?

Brian: [firmly, but calmly] I wish to be left alone. Since you ask me what I wish sir, that is my answer. I help to support the establishments I have named; those who are badly off must go there.

First Collector: Many can't go there.

Second Collector: And some would rather die.

Brian: [to the Spirit of Christmas Yet To Come] Before I draw nearer to that stone, tell me! Are these the shadows of things that must be, or are they the shadows of things that MIGHT be?