Wednesday, 4 April 2012

Samantha Brick ? Is this cockney Rhyming slang

According to the Daily Mail, it's writer Samantha Brick has become an internet sensation ( Why? Because she seems to think there is a downside to being drop dead gorgeous. She whines that it gets really tiresome receiving bunches of flowers from strangers. She claims all her female friends have become paranoid in her company. She lists a whole host of scenarios where her good looks have resulted in tension.

I know exactly what she means. Being drop dead gorgeous myself, I regularly find myself being propositioned in the street by strange women. I have always found this mildly irritating and had put it down to having to commute through a red light area, but reading Samantha's article I do empathise. Only today a very attractive young lady in a shop told me I had beautiful eyes. Now if I wasn't so drop dead gorgeous, I may have been cynical and thought the compliment may have been because I  was discussing spending a thousand quid in her shop, but hey ho, it all makes sense now.

Another highly annoying thing happened last night in Marks and Spencers. There I was queueing up in a long queue at a checkout, when a gorgeous young girl caught my eye. She proceeded to open up another till and beckon me over. As I arrived with my basket laden with bagels, smoked salmon and a nice bottle of wine, she said "I love smoked salmon bagels and that wine is nice as well". She then said "would you like a 5p bag". Now me being a bit naive, hadn't thought that this was probably a euphamism. After I put my card in the reader, she suggestively asked "would you like some cashback". It could have been my lucky night.

Like Samantha, I had another really annoying experience on a flight. I had to fly first class to Washington DC last year on business. Those naughty US airways stewardesses kept coming up and giving me free drinks. One asked me if I was enjoying the flight, I replied that it was a fine. She said "We'll if there is ANYTHING I can do to help, just grab me"

Luckily for me, Men are far more forgiving of adonis like friends than women are. I once asked a friend how he could cope with having such a handsome friend. He replied "Have you looked in the mirror lately mate ". I hadn't so I was glad that he'd reminded me to take a quick peek at my lovely profile.

As I wrote this blog, I asked my wife how she coped with living with someone as handsome as me". She seems to be managing fine. She replied "I'll ignore that comment"

I must confess that I was rather disappointed to see that the Daily Mail had gone to the trouble of finding a poor picture of Ms Brick, where she looked rather average really. Clearly, they felt that their readers were not ready for the full loveliness of a decent picture. I was reminded of many years ago, when I was living with an Ex. A flatmate of ours had a friend who was completely up herself, who my ex lovingly christened "pricknose". Pricknose would regale anyone who was prepared to listen that men found her irrisistable. She warned my ex not to leave me alone with her, because it may have been the end of a friendship. The ex mentioned this to me. I asked the ex "Who is she going out with?" - She replied "Doug (not his real name)". I then said "And who was she going out with before that". She replied "Chris". I then said "Just suppose you were totally irresistable to any man, would you have gone out with Doug and Chris?". She replied "no". (whilst "Doug" and "Chris" were lovely chaps, they were neither millionaires or shall we say, lookers).

Although I don't know Ms Samantha Brick, I'd suggest that if she was a little bit less into herself an a little bit less into being the centre of attention, she'd have a few less social issues. There is truly nothing worse than a self obsessed prima donna who clearly has no sense of humour whatsoever.

Mind you, it's exactly the high quality of journalism we have come to expect from the Daily Mail, I just can't believe people get paid to write such crap and I'm even more amazed that people buy it


Fat Bastard said...

Fat girls hate pretty slender women.

valblog said...

Many years ago my best friend told me airily "Everyone thinks I look like Botticelli's Venus". I politely agreed, later asking my boyfriend if he concurred: "Haha! Botticelli's penis, morelike!" Aaah, but the truth would have been so painful.