Thursday, 6 October 2011

Barnet Eye Xmas present exclusive : A new board game - Mug the Barnet Taxpayer

The Barnet Eye is pleased to announce a new board game, to be launched for Xmas. It's called "MUG THE BARNET TAXPAYER".

The object of the game is very simple. Take as much cash as you can from the "public purse" as a Barnet Councillor. Bonus points are earned by collecting "Eat a free dinner" cards. The game can last up to four years. There are three ways it can end. Either :-

A) All contestants collect a "Death card" or a "go to Prison card"


B) Someone draws "The other lot win the election" card, in which case all players loose


C) Someone wins

You win the game by either collecting a "peerage" card, which is a free meal ticket for life or by collecting a "become an MP" card or best of all "Become an EU commissioner" card. These cards are collected from the "Nepotism, bribery and cliques" pile

To collect one of these you must :-
a) Land on the "call in a favour" square.
b) Have collected more "Eat a Free Dinner" cards than the other players
c) Have collected allowances of at least £50,000 a year

To collect an eat a free dinner card, you can
a) Land on an Eat a Free Dinner square
b) Bung another player some of your allowances in exchange for their free dinner cards. You can only do this before you roll the dice

To collect allowances you must land on one of these squares :-
a) Award yourself an payrise -  £7,500 allowance card
b) Chair a Committee - £15,000 allowance card
d) Become Deputy Leader -  £27,000 allowance (take from last holder of the card)
c) Become Leader - £35,000  card (take from last holder of the card)
e) Chair the LFEPA - £25,000 card (take from last holder of the card)

You can also get allowance bonus top up cards as follows :-

a) Holiday at Sandbanks card - £1,000
b) Free parking Permit card - £1,000
c) Taxi Expenses card - £3,000 (can have up to three separate Barnet, GLA & LFEPA)
d) Harvey Nics Xmas Hamper card - £500 (as many as you can collect)
e) Mayors card - £10,000

However be warned, you can loss these by landing on the "busted by a blogger card" - These are
a) Lose Sandbanks Holiday card
b) Lose Taxi Expenses card
c) Lose Harvey Nicks Hamper card
d) Lose your Free Dinners card
e) Lose an allowance card (you lose your smallest allowance card)

If you land on the nepotism, Bribery and Cliques square, you can collect one of the following cards :-

If you have enough allowances and dinners
a) Become an EU commissioner - You win the game
b) Become a Peer - You win the game
c) Become an MP - You win the game
d) Become the Leader - You take the Leader card
e) Become the Deputy Leader - You take the Deputy Leader card (unless you are the leader)

If you haven't enough allowances or dinners
You must take a card, but have to put a-c back

Then there is the dreaded Wikileaks square. If you land on this you get one of the following cards :-
a) You are exposed and kill yourself because of the shame (see below for exemption)
b) You are exposed and go to prison (see below for exemption)
c) You are exposed and lose all of your allowances

To survive a & b, you need to land on the exemption square, then you hold the exemption until someone else lands on it. If you hold the exemption card and you get a or b, you can give it to a player of your choice or put it back. If you give it to another player you get all their allowances and free dinners.

You can also play the role of the taxpayer. All you have to do is sit there, watching everyone taking the piss out of you, whilst you get them drinks, dinners and snacks and pay for the chinese when it turns up.

Enjoy - Mug the Taxpayer -  Copyright of R. Tichborne

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