Friday 15 January 2010

Playin' poker with the grim reaper - Health, dyslexia and death

I played a hand of poker with the grim reaper today. I won ! I've played poker with him every day of my life and won. I hope to have a good few more hands of poker with him and win them all. Trouble is, he only has to win once.

Hopefully todays hand is a strong one, trouble is he can bide his time. He's been dealt a few good hands, but one way or another I've bluffed him so far. You may wonder why the gloom? Well I was looking at a blog written by a lady detailing her battle with breast cancer. The byline said "My journey towards death" - I thought, my word that sounds grim. Then I realised that my dyslexia had rearranged the words and letters in my head. The byline actually said "My journey towards health". I'd never before realised that the words Health and Death were so similar. I then got to wondering how many people in the history of the human race are dyslexics who actually died because they misread something. Maybe taking medicins- was that one I was meant to take or the whole bottle? The two signposts in the road? < Town Centre - Edge of Cliff > Maybe the sell by date on the Prawn Sandwich - Eat by 10/01/11 - oops botulism strikes - aarghhhhhh.

Have you ever nearly died? I have a few times. When I was seven, I nearly stepped out in front of a car. My schoolmate Dale Malone pulled me back and said "I just saved your life". Just think, every day since then, I owe to Dale Malone and he's probably forgotten all about it. When I was 24 and my ulcer burst, I was admitted to Edgware General hospital. I was stuck on a trolley for hours on end. The sax player in my band, Mark The Gas, worked at the hospital as an anaesthetist. I couldn't get any sleep because it was too noisy. I pulled the blanket over my head to try and get some peace. Mark saw the covered body and noticed my name. He thought I'd had it. He lifted up the blanket just to check, in a state of shock. I greeted him with a very load "Hello Mark" and he nearly had a heart attack. I then vomited blood all over him for his troubles. He said "see you later".

I was on the bus behind the bus that got blown up in Russell Square on 7/7. That was pretty freaky, although more in hindsight. But all in all I'm pretty happy. I've dodged the bullet so far ! I bet you'll piss yourself laughing if I get run over coming home from the pub tonight

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