Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Translation into English of Non Stick Nick Walkley's Dictat to Staff

Today Barnet Council CEO plastered his latest blatherings on massive billboards all over North London Business Park (home of Barnet Council) urging Barnet Council Employees not to strike - See previous two blog entries for pictures and more details. As an act of public service, The Barnet Eye has transalated the message into plain English. The original text is in Black, the Official Translation is in red italics

An open letter to staff - Dictat from your boss

As many of you are aware, council staff have been in discussion with Unison over "TUPE Plus" proposals for staff in services that may be provided by an external supplier in the coming years. As many of you are aware we have been trying to impose a very bad deal on you bunch of mugs, so that we'll be shot of you and a private employer can then shaft you

The council has listened carefully to the concerns put forward by individual staff members, Unison and other trade unions. We know best so why listen to you bunch of cretins

However the action of calling a strike on 13 September by Unison confirms that the offer has not been accepted. This package of measures is a substantial package of enhancements over and above the protection provided by TUPE. The key points of the package are: The Union have not fallen for our line of bullshit and smoke and mirrors deceit, so they are going on strike, here's how we plan to shaft you :

* all employees in services moving to a new employer will be able to continue their membership of the Local Government Pension Scheme uninterrupted and unchanged We will graciously let you hang on to the cash you've paid into your pension

* local union recognition will be protected for staff moving to external suppliers The new private companies have promised to recognise your union rights, honest guv

* terms and conditions of staff transferred will be protected for at least one year after leaving the council's employment After one year, you will get shafted big time

* any changes to terms and conditions after that first year will have to be negotiated with the appropriate trade union the Union will be F****d off out of it after a year

This offer of protection of pension rights and terms and conditions is a significant commitment at a time when both the public and private sectors are operating in challenging economic circumstances. If you are stupid enough to fall for this old bullshit, you deserve to get shafted, we've got our mates in the city to look out for

Regards So long Schmucks

Nick Walkley Non Stick Nick


MickeyN said...

I offer another translation:

"You are a lemming; we have landscaped the top of the cliff...."

Ms Jenn said...

thanks for nice post.

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